This year got off to a very fast start.  It seemed like the holidays just zipped by and then, BAM!, the spring semester was suddenly in full swing.  This was my last semester of college, but it was in no way a light load.  I had my work cut out for me.  Knowing that it was my last semester, I was hoping to enjoy and savor the anticipation of a new class schedule and those feelings of excitement that go along with starting a new semester, but it came on so fast and furious that most of those plans went by the wayside.

I was also starting to think about what the job prospects would be like following graduation and what I was seeing didn’t look any too promising.  The economy seemed bad and the job market seemed bleak, but I figured that if there was anything at all out there that was interesting, I’d stand as good a chance as anybody to get it.  And if not, well, I could look into going full-time at the local community center where I worked part-time or if that wasn’t an option then maybe another part-time job.  I knew it wouldn’t be too hard to support my current standard of living until something in my field turned up.  I wasn’t worried.

Between school, studying, and work I was often maxed out, but I could always find a way to be with my boyfriend.  Brian was pretty maxed out with school and work, too, but being together was a priority for both of us so we made sure it happened.  I so looked forward to those times. 

For me, the nude recreation season began in early March.  The keyword here is early – too early.  I think it always go like that.  Anyway, I was out running my country route - the one that takes me out past the pasture where I like to sunbathe and hike nude.  It was sunny, but those March winds were going strong and that made the temperature kind of chilly in spite of the sunshine.  As I was going past the pasture, the idea popped into my head that maybe it would be warm enough for some nude sunbathing if I found a place that was sheltered from the wind but still in the full sun.  I thought more about it as I ran on out to the turnaround point and as I came back by, I decided to find out. 

I headed on back into my pasture, but went to a different spot than usual looking for some shelter from the wind.  When I came to the place that I thought would be well suited for that, I found that it did indeed shelter me from most of the wind, but the temperature still wasn’t as warm as I’d expected.  But you know me – I always try to finish what I start, so I decided to give it a try.  What would at least a few minutes hurt and who knows – maybe I’d get used to it after a little while.  Wrong.  I slipped out of my running jacket and then my shoes and socks and by then as I felt the cold ground under my bare feet, I knew it wouldn’t be pleasant and relaxing.  Oh well, chalk this one up to experience and just keep going.  My shoes and socks were already off so taking off the rest was no big deal. 

A few seconds later I was wearing only sunshine – my favorite outfit, of course – but today it wasn’t enough.  My sweaty skin was acutely aware of every little breeze that swirled through the sheltered area I was in.  The wind was blowing just too strong for it to all be kept away and I could sense those drafty little breezes coming at me – first from one way and then another.  It was like they were just trying to torment me. 

I was hoping that once my skin was dry I’d feel warmer so I decided to tough it out for a few more minutes and see what happened.  I walked around a little bit just for something to do and as I did that I found that I kept crossing my arms and hugging myself in an effort to keep warm.  As I walked around the area, I knew I was at least getting some much needed natural sunshine and that counts for a lot. 

I toughed it out for probably about ten minutes.  By then the sweat had dried, but I was still freezing.  That was enough.  I got dressed and even though my clothes were damp and cold, they still felt pretty good.  So that was how my season opener went – not so fun.  But hey, sometimes you just can’t wait any longer!

Around that time, an opportunity came my way that I think made all the difference in my employment after graduation.  I didn’t know it at the time, but as it turns out I was pretty lucky to have been in the right place at the right time.  Out of the blue, one of my professors approached me about an opportunity to do some work for someone he knew that was head of a department at a local company.  They needed a study done that would be short-term, but due to the economy, they weren’t being allowed to hire anyone or engage any outside professionals.  He said that in addition to making a little money, when the project was done it could count toward satisfying a big part of the project work I needed for my class.  It looked like a lot of work, but it would be short-term and I would get paid for doing it.  The biggest downside was that I’d basically have to give up my spring break in order to do the work.  I decided to go ahead with it thinking that not only would it be good real-world experience, but it would also look good on my resume when I started my job search in earnest. 

I found out later that I wasn’t the first one to be offered this job.  A couple of my classmates had already been offered it and turned it down thinking that it would be too much work for what it would pay.  Before it was over, I was thinking they were right.  But I took it on, worked hard with the people there at the company as well as my professor and got it done.  Everyone seemed pleased with my work including me.  I learned a lot, met a lot of nice people in the process, and decided that this company was a place I definitely wanted to apply even though they said the prospects for hiring anyone anytime soon were not good. 

It wasn’t long before that company contacted me again asking me if I would continue for a little longer doing the work I had done for them.  They made it clear that I should not count on this leading to permanent employment, but that the work I had done had proved even more valuable to them than they had expected and that they had gotten approval to continue funding it (me) for a short time longer.  I thought, fine, now that I’ve got it going, I can continue doing it without too much effort.  Wrong.  They wanted me to do the same thing only with a little change here and there.  Those little changes here and there added up quickly so that it ended up taking a lot more time than I’d planned.  I wound up being so maxed out trying to do this work and keeping up with all my school work.  I scaled back on my lifeguard job as much as I could, but still there were many days (and nights!) when I wondered how I was ever going to get it all done.  Some very anxious times.

But even with all that I had to do, I always found the time to do the things that were important to me and at the very top of that list was being with Brian.  We did lots of things together and always had fun, but one of the best things was enjoying time together out at my pasture.  As the weather warmed up, we picked up right where we had left off in the fall with our nude hiking, and as we grew totally comfortable together, those times became precious, especially since we couldn’t manage to get together out there very often – not even once a week. 

As he became more comfortable and confident with being nude with me, he began to think about joining in with others as I sometimes did.  There was no pressure from me for him to do that, but as the spring went on, he become more and more determined that he was going to accomplish this.  When our friend, Jeff, suggested he join us just so that Brian could find out what it would be like having someone else with us, we took him up on it.  And just like we had been telling him, Brian found out that being with others was a lot more natural and relaxed than he could ever imagine it to be.  Sometimes experience is the best teacher.  There was no stopping him after that.

School became even more intense as the end of the semester grew ever closer.  Combine with that the two jobs that I now had and that didn’t leave much time for job searching.  I did everything I knew to do for getting hired at the company where I was working on a part-time temporary basis.  They truly did seem to like me and my work and they were trying to get approval to fill one of the openings in their group, but at this point they weren’t at all sure if it would be approved.  While I felt confident that I would be a prime candidate if there were an opening, there was still nothing to feel very hopeful about so I also had my resume out to a number of other employers and I was constantly working through the placement office at my school, but nothing exciting or hopeful was looming on the horizon.  So I continued mostly to just watch, inquire, and wait. 

Over the next few weeks there was the occasional interview, but my most encouraging moment came when I learned that the company where I was working had finally received approval to fill one of their open positions.  My most discouraging moment came when I learned that their HR department required them to post the job.  That meant that others both inside and outside the company could apply for it.  If I had to compete against other candidates with experience, I figured I would lose out for sure.  Oh well – I had done all I could.  I needed to just keep looking and also to keep plugging away at school, which I did – big time. 

During the week before final week while I was completely buried in finishing projects and cramming for finals, I received a call from one of the people I worked with at the company saying that she was pulling for me and that things looked hopeful, but that she wondered if I would be ready to start work immediately after graduation – as in the next day.  She said that would be my “ace in the hole” – they were very anxious to fill the position.  I had hoped that I might have a week or so off following graduation, but I could forego that if it would lead to something so I agreed.  The next week during finals, the offer came through.  Woo-hoo!  It was what I wanted, the money was good (hey, any offer looks good when it’s the only one you get), and they wanted me to start the following Monday.  I accepted. 

I finished finals and then there was graduation.  I had been so consumed with finishing the semester that graduation sort of sneaked up on me.  My last final was on Friday and graduation was on Saturday and that was that.  I was a student one day and a graduate the next.  Wow – that took a while to sink in.  I was so glad to have completed my degree, but at the same time I was sorry to be leaving college.  I mean, physically I wasn’t really leaving much.  I was still going to be living right where I had been for all of my college life – within a couple of blocks of campus – but I would no longer be part of the college, at least not as a student.  It was a bitter-sweet feeling. 

Monday rolled around and there I was - working full time in my new old job.  No time off for good behavior or anything, but that was OK.  I was grateful for the job and because I had already been working there for a while with the same people, the transition was pretty easy.  The job proved to be everything I’d hoped it would.  It was challenging and sometimes I felt a little overwhelmed, but I was working with some great people who were more than patient with me as they showed me what to do and how they wanted it done.  There were times when I felt pretty inadequate (hey, they don’t teach you everything you need to know in school!), but everyone was always encouraging and seemed happy to have me there.  That was a good feeling. 

So now it was summer.  I was working everyday at my new job.  Also, I was still working part-time at my old lifeguard job, but I held my hours to a minimum there.  There were a number of reasons to continue that job:  it kept me swimming, it gave me free use of all the work-out facilities, the extra money was nice, and besides all that, I just liked it.  But even with working these two jobs, I still had plenty of time for fun on evenings and weekends. 

A big part of my summer fun included being with Brian.  We did all of the usual things like going to concerts and games and hanging out with friends and other fun things.  But in addition to all that, our nude recreational activities were becoming ever more natural and comfortable for us.  Besides the times that he and I spent together outdoors by ourselves, there were several other things that happened to help it along including two that were courtesy of my friends, Ann and Jim.  The first of those was when they invited us to spend an afternoon with them at one of their parents’ home in the country.  That was a great way for Brian to be with another nudist couple and experience being with others on a limited basis.  He came away from that day with a lot more confidence and a lot higher comfort level with a type of situation that he had worried about for months. 

The ultimate experience for him came when Ann and Jim invited us to the nudist campground where they are members.  We went for just a day rather than the whole weekend, but what a day it was.  For Brian to spend an entire day nude in a place where that was totally normal and natural and with a large group of others who considered it totally normal and natural so much so that they preferred it and lived it, well, that was all he needed.  If he wasn’t one of us before, he was from that point on. 

I hadn’t been working very long in my new job when I came into an unexpected surprise – some time off.  It turned out that the two people that had been assigned to be my mentors were both going to be off for a week at exactly the same time.  That didn’t seem like too big of a deal to me – I knew I’d miss their help and guidance, but there was still plenty to keep me busy.  But when my supervisor realized that both of these people were going to be gone at the same time, he offered to allow me to take off for the same week if I wanted and he offered to advance me the earned time off with pay (I hadn’t earned any time off yet).  He left it up to me – either way was fine.  I decided to go for it.  This would take the place of that little break between the end of school and starting to work that I didn’t get.  They were in such a hurry for me to start and now after just a few weeks they were giving me a break – corporations do funny things sometimes. 

There wasn’t much lead time for planning, but I’d had this idea in the back of my mind for awhile of a place that I wanted to visit – a place that I’d been before as a kid with my parents.  We never took many trips as a family because they were always so busy, but I remember that after that trip they talked again and again about going back there, but it never happened and then it was too late.  I didn’t remember too much about it, but it seemed to have made such an impression on my parents that I knew I wanted to go there someday.  I wasn’t sure why.  It just felt like something I needed to do.  This was my chance. 

I asked several of my friends if they would go with me, but it was such short notice that none of them could work it out so I ended up going solo.  I scrambled around to do my research and planning and made it happen.  It turned out to be a great trip and I’m actually glad I went alone because it proved to be a very important time of reflection, self-discovery, and understanding.

Now that I was working a regular, full-time job that followed regular business hours for the most part, the need to do my running in the wee, early morning hours dropped way down, but there were still a few times when it was necessary to get out there before dawn and quite often on those times I would incorporate some nude running into my exercise.  One of the places that I’ve used for that purpose in the past was an undeveloped area just beyond the new housing development that I’ve also used for nude running before it became too built up.  The undeveloped area had a very rough jeep trail that I would follow although it was way too rough to run on in the dark so I always had to just walk it. 

One early morning, I headed back there only to find a couple of big construction machines sitting there in the quiet darkness.  I always figured this area would be developed sooner or later, so I thought maybe they were going to start building streets there - all the better for running at least until the street lights go in.  So I continued on, got out of my clothes a little farther on, but before I had walked very much more, I came to the area where the machines had been working.  I couldn’t figure out what was going on.  It was too dark to really know for sure, but they definitely weren’t building a street.  It appeared that they were just digging up dirt, but for what reason I had no idea.  The result was that there were deep ruts and gullies everywhere.  I started out picking my way carefully across thinking that once I got to the other side of where they had dug, I would find the old trail again and it would be even safer because of these ruts.  However, this torn up area just continued on and on.  It was slow going in the dark and after a long time I finally reached the other side, but there was nowhere left to hike.  They had totally devastated most of this area and it made me mad that someone would ruin the land like this.  I could just imagine that it must look like a war zone in the daytime.  I slowly crossed back over the bare, rutted ground, got dressed, and ran home.  I had used up all my time stumbling around out there in the dark. 

The next evening I ran back to that area again to see if I could figure out what was going on.  As I ran through the housing development, I noticed that a new street was under construction.  This new street was within the part of the development that had already been built – it was sort of a fill-in street inside the development that was surrounded by other parts that were already completed.  It finally dawned on me that they must have taken all that dirt from the other area and brought it here to make this new street.  I now understood the purpose, but it still seemed so wasteful.  That other land now couldn’t be used for anything without first smoothing it back out.  So why mess it up in the first place? 

The next time I was out running early, I went back to the roughed up area.  I was hoping to find at least some stretch of ground that would be smooth enough for walking.  The machines were gone now.  When I reached the start of the rutted area, I decided to see if I could get in some faster walking by walking in the same direction as the ruts.  That was a little better, but still not satisfactory.  It was so dark – there was no moon – that even when it was fairly smooth, I was so worried about stumbling into a rut or over a ridge that I couldn’t loosen up and really hike like I like to. 

Then as I reached the bottom of the sloping ground near the trees where there is a small creek, it appeared that the bare ground continued on and was much smoother.  That seemed odd, but I continued on to see how far it might go.  To my surprise, I found that they had filled in a place on the creek to cross and it continued on over to the other side.  I followed.  It appeared that the machines had been driving over this area a lot, but had not dug up the ground.  In fact, it was very smooth like a road and I continued to follow it as it sloped uphill.  There was a curve and then another long flat stretch.  Finally, I came to a gate made out of stiff wire.  I almost ran into it in the dark.  Looking past the gate, I realized that this was where the new street was that I mentioned earlier.  It hadn’t occurred to me until now that all that dirt had to have been hauled from one place to the other somehow and I had just discovered how.  I didn’t know if they were through working or not, but for now, I had discovered a great place to hike – very remote; very secluded; very secure.  This was a very lucky find.  I hiked the length of it several times that morning before heading home. 

On another early morning some time later when I returned to that area, I found that my new secret road had been blocked off with big piles of dirt at the place where it crossed the creek.  There was so much dirt that there was no way around it and I didn’t dare try to climb over it in the dark.  My plans were spoiled that morning.  On another evening I ran through the development to see if I could find another way back to that hidden area.  The new street was such that I could run down it now although it was still rough and unpaved.  The street ended in a cul-de-sac.  I could see the gate that I’d come to before from the other side at the back of one of the building lots.  The gate was uneven and it looked as though I could probably lift it up enough at the highest end to get underneath without having to get down in the dirt.  I made a mental note of all these details so that I could find my way in the dark next time. 

The next time I was running in the early morning, I ran straight to the new street and down to the end of it.  There, I carefully found my way across the rough, undeveloped building lot to the gate.  I tried lifting it up and sure enough the bottom of it easily came out and up enough so that I could bend down and slip underneath.  It wasn’t very stable, but that was perfect for my needs.  So now I was in my own secluded little training ground - right there in town, but completely removed from everyone.  I had about a half mile of dirt road to hike on – even run on when there was enough moonlight.  I was protected by a gate on one end and high piles of dirt on the other - my own little road that went from nowhere to nowhere.  Perfect.  It was in July that I stumbled onto this area and I used it the rest of the summer and into the fall.  I even ran it nude late one afternoon just so I could add it to my conquered territories, but only once – too risky. 

Eventually the street was paved and of course it had to be initiated in the proper way by running every foot of it nude, but that was sort of risky, too, even in the dark, so I only did it on a very limited basis, like when it was too muddy to run on the dirt road.  I also did some of the same things I did last summer, but I won’t go into all that again except to say that I got to go camping with Ann and Jim at their campground again toward the end of summer (happy!), but Brian had gone home to visit his family between the summer and fall semester so he wasn’t with me (sad…). 

Summer was so much fun, but it went by so fast.  Soon many of my friends were going back to school and I was keenly aware that I wasn’t.  I sort of missed it – all the anticipation of new class schedules and new professors and seeing friends again and all that.  But at the same time I knew that I had paid my dues and I was thrilled with my job and looked forward to going to work every day.  So they went back to school and I continued on down my own new path.

Fall was good although I always hate to see warm weather change over to cold.  But with fall comes the anticipation of holidays and other fun times.  I found that Halloween was actually a lot more fun in the work place than it had been at school.  We worked, of course, but there was still this sort of a party atmosphere going on and a number of people wore costumes that day.  In fact, there were several teams that all dressed up in costumes that all followed the same theme.  They were so funny!  I asked my team mates how come we didn’t do that and they promptly put me in charge of organizing it next year.  Me and my big mouth.

For Thanksgiving this year, I went home with Brian to be with his family for several days.  He has such a huge extended family.  I met so many people and they were all very nice.  That was fun.

As Christmas approached there were a lot of fun things to do.  He went with me to my company Christmas party and I went with him to his.  We enjoyed a lot more time together when the fall semester ended for him.  He was working nearly full-time then, but he felt that a lot of pressure had been lifted off his shoulders when the semester ended even though it was only temporary. 

Then a few days before Christmas he drove back home to be with his family for about a week - or so I thought (you’ll see what I mean later).  We exchanged gifts right before he left and then we said good-bye.  When he’s gone every day seems like an eternity, but I would be working and also I had plans to be with my family and to look up old friends that I hoped would be back for the holidays. 

Christmas day came and I went to my uncle and aunt’s home to spend the day with them.  This was a family tradition that I always looked forward to.  For me, being with my family is very comforting and gives me a feeling of belonging and stability.  We exchanged gifts first thing and then we all worked together to prepare a brunch.  It was all very casual, laid-back, and homey.  Throughout the day, I had this feeling that something was going on; that somebody knew something that I didn’t.  I wondered if maybe my uncle and aunt had some sort of big surprise for my cousins or something like that, but I just sort of dismissed it thinking that if there was something I was supposed to know, someone would clue me in. 

Then in the afternoon, the doorbell rang.  It was Brian!  What a surprise!  But what was he doing here?!  He had met my family several times before and had been here before (as it turns out, even once more than I knew about; you’ll see what I mean in a minute), but it was totally beyond my wildest dreams that he would show up here now.  But surprises not withstanding, I rushed to him and hugged him tight a good long time.  I was so glad to see him regardless of how or why he was here. 

Greetings were exchanged and we all went in and sat down.  He and I were side by side on a sofa.  There were two things that I sensed.  One, Brian seemed more serious than usual – even a little bit nervous maybe.  And two, nobody but me seemed surprised that he was here.  Hmmm….what’s up with all this?! 

While I was thinking about how to go about asking Brian why he was here without sounding ungrateful, he took the initiative and said that he came back early because he wanted to see me today.  I said that I was glad he was here but that I was sorry he had to drive all that way on Christmas Day and miss being with his family.  He said that it was important to see me today and that they understood.  I noticed that he had brought in a package and at that point, he said that he had something for me and handed it to me.  It was a package that looked like it might contain a blouse or top or something like that, but when it was in my hands, it didn’t feel like that.  He and I had already exchanged gifts and I said something about that.  He just said that this was something that he wanted me to have and that he wanted me to have it today. 

As I unwrapped it, I noticed that it definitely was a shirt box, but it definitely didn’t feel like it contained anything like that.  When it was unwrapped, Brian awkwardly reached over and turned the box around and said to open this way.  Why was he being so particular about that? I wondered.  I carefully lifted the lid off and removed some tissue and there before my eyes was the most beautiful jewelry box I had ever seen.  It was finished wood with a pretty floral pattern painted on the top.  He had placed some cardboard in the box so that the jewelry box was positioned securely in the middle.  I told him that it was beautiful and that I’d never seen anything like it before.  He smiled at me, but didn’t say anything.

I rubbed my hand over the top of it feeling the smoothly finished wood and the slight roughness of what appeared to be a hand-painted floral pattern.  My thumb found its way under the lip at the front of the lid and as I started to raise it, the lid seemed to lift itself under my palm and I let it rise slowly and carefully.  At the instant it was all the way up, my eyes took in a sight that I could scarcely comprehend and was in no way prepared for.  In a slot in the center of the jewelry box that was lined with red velvet were two rings – one of them with a glimmering diamond mounted on it.  My family was sitting across from us and they told me later that I let out a short gasp and that my face expressed surprise, shock, and panic all at the same time.  It hit me like a baseball bat – this was a wedding set!!!  This was…a proposal??!!

I looked at Brian – I must have still had the same look on my face.  But when our eyes met, it was with such love and beautiful sincerity that he asked me to marry him.  I think I looked into his eyes for just a second more and then glanced back down at the ring for a second or so, but I wasn’t really looking at anything.  I was experiencing a moment of total clarity, like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.  Brian’s proposal was totally unexpected – completely out of the blue – but yet I knew in an instant and without a doubt that committing the rest of my life to him in marriage was what I wanted to do and that it was the right thing to do - for both of us.  I turned my gaze back to him, looked into his eyes, and said yes – just like that.  He smiled and looked a little relieved – almost as though he was surprised even though that was the answer he was hoping for.  I think we were both a little stunned at what we had just committed to and it took a couple of seconds more for it to sink in, but the more it sank in, the more thrilled we both were about it. 

I don’t know why I didn’t see this coming – there were plenty of signs.  There were times over the past several weeks that it had seemed to me that Brian had been preoccupied for no apparent reason and he had acted so flaky sometimes.  But in actuality he was thinking and planning for this in such a way that I would be totally surprised – which I was.  I don’t mean that he wanted to surprise me in the sense of catching me off guard, but rather he wanted to impress upon me that he had given this a lot of very serious consideration, had thought it all the way through, and after all that he wanted to commit himself to me in marriage.  Just me!  Forever!!  And he was asking me to do the same with him!!!  How awesome is that?!!!

Yes, I was surprised all right – in every way imaginable.  We had, of course, talked about marriage prior to this, but it was in the context of what our beliefs, values, and hopes about marriage and family were – but not about us getting married. 

The number of things that he had done out of consideration for me leading up to this was simply amazing.  He had met with my uncle and aunt several weeks before to ask their permission to ask me.  He had talked it over with his own family.  And he already had given a lot of thought to where we might want to live, what kind of place we could live in, what it would cost, and a lot of the practical things along those lines.  He’s wonderful. 

We spent the rest of the day with my family.  They shared in our joy and gave us their blessing.  We called his parents and talked with them.  They were equally as joyous and supportive.  After we left that evening, we stayed up all night talking and making plans for our life together.  We had so much to think about.  I had to work the next day and I was so tired, but so happy.  I never dreamed when I left work Christmas Eve afternoon that the next time I walked in, I’d be telling everyone that I was engaged.  It seemed so strange to suddenly be saying ‘I’m engaged’ and to refer to Brian as my fiancé rather than my boyfriend.  Before, it always seemed like those things were for other people.  Now, it was for us and it felt so right and so perfect. 

In looking back over the past year and all of the big changes that took place in my life and now looking forward into 2003, I see even more big changes ahead with marriage and beginning our life together.  I’m so looking forward to it even though sometimes I still can hardly believe it.  I’m going to be Brian’s wife!!  He’s going to be my husband!!!  We’re going to be a family. 

Peace, joy, and blessings to all in 2003!