The day that Sunny and I went out to her pasture was a string of unplanned unexpected events. I decided at the last minute to drive up to see her that afternoon. I knew we were going to run together. I didn’t know we were going out to the pasture. And I for sure wasn’t expecting what ended up happening. I figured we would eventually be nude together (not for sex) someday, but she said it would be up to me and I still had no idea when I would have the guts to try it or how. I never dreamed she would just up and do it this way with her the only one naked. She didn’t either, but that’s Sunny. Once she gets an idea and she knows it’s the right thing, then she goes with it and you better not get in her way. She’s not forceful or pushy, but she is determined so she takes the lead and goes with it. And she doesn’t take any you know what from anybody ever.

So there I stood like an idiot staring off into the woods not knowing what to do while my girlfriend was getting naked right there behind me. (It wasn’t until sometime afterwards that she told me that she had me take my shoes off just to keep me occupied. Then I really felt stupid.) But anyway, I was so nervous. I think I was literally shaking at this point. Why was I so scared? Most guys would die to have their girlfriends do for them what mine was doing and it was even her idea! But I think that because this was all about non-sexual nudity and because I was so worried about how it was going to be for me when I tried it myself for the first time, I guess I transferred all those anticipated fears to this moment in time even though I wasn’t actually naked myself. Dumb, I know, but I was so overwhelmed with fear at that moment that I couldn’t reason out that I didn’t need to be afraid.

I got shocked out of that silly stupor when Sunny touched my arm and said C’mon let’s go babe. I think I jumped as high as the trees. As we started walking along, we were right beside each other. She looked at me and smiled and I remember thinking though that there was some nervousness on her part, too. I looked at her face at that moment, but I was afraid to look down at all – she was so close. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. As we walked together there through the trees in silence, I just looked mostly straight ahead but I knew from my peripheral vision that she was doing what she said she was going to do.

It was probably only a minute or two, but it seemed like a long time when we came to a place where the way we were going went between some bushes and we were going to have to go one after the other to get through. Sunny just stepped on ahead to lead the way and I followed and that’s when I finally looked directly at her body, probably because I knew she wasn’t watching me. I’m glad she wasn’t because my jaw probably hit the ground just then.

First off, I was surprised that I was surprised to see her like that because I thought I was already pretty familiar with her body. I mean I hadn’t seen her naked, but I had seen her in swimsuits and I had seen her in lots of different styles of outfits from tight hip-huggers to baggies and everything else so I thought I already basically knew what she would look like. And she’s not the kind of person to always be hiding herself. Like at the pool, she never puts on shorts or a towel or anything over her swimsuit like most girls do. I mean, its not like she is showing off or anything. She could if she wanted to because she’s got a hot bod, but that’s just not her.

So now all of a sudden she’s walking along directly in front of me and I’m just like awestruck by the beautiful sight I’m seeing. She’s walking in that same graceful girl-athlete sort of way that she always does, but she seems even more graceful now. I noticed that smooth feminine form of hers all the way up and down with no interruptions by anything – not even tan lines. I also noticed that she had taken her hair out of the ponytail she’d had it in. Seeing her here outdoors in the woods like this just made the whole thing seem so natural and flowing.

Another surprise was that my first thoughts and impressions were not sexual. That’s what I was afraid I would be like, but seeing how beautiful and natural she was as she led us through the trees was actually the first time that my mind began to accept the fact that maybe this was a normal thing and maybe this wasn’t about sex. Maybe what she had been telling me all along was right.

After we got through the bushes, she waited for me to come along side her and as we came to the edge of the trees, she mentioned briefly that she had been so afraid for the longest time to hike any farther than this. It seemed odd to hear her say that because we just kept right on walking out into the open as she said it just like she’d been doing this forever. A little farther on in silence and then she pointed out another place that had been her farthest point until Jeff had come along.

I was still feeling pretty nervous, but she continued to take us on farther into the pasture. I remember that I would look at her whenever she said something to me, but the rest of the time I just looked ahead and walked in silence.

When we reached the top of the hill, we stopped and Sunny began to point out the various landmarks around the pasture that she had told me about (and I had read about) like the ponds and far fence. It was during those moments that she was pointing in the different directions and we were looking there that I finally looked (awkwardly) at her again – this time seeing her from the front, the side, and all angles and well, I still wasn’t prepared for the surprise of seeing her like that. I remember thinking over and over to myself, this girl is a goddess – I can’t believe she’s my girlfriend – I’m so lucky!

I was so stupid not to just tell her what I was thinking and feeling. I’m sure it would have helped me get over the nervousness. She told me later she was nervous, too, but you couldn’t tell it. She appeared to be her usual self acting like she always did. She wasn’t trying to cover herself or anything. I thought I was the only scared one.

We were only up there for the short time it took her to point out those landmarks, and then we headed back down the hill basically the same way we came. As we began walking down the hill, I was finding the silence of not talking very uncomfortable. It’s not unusual for her to be quiet if she doesn’t have anything to say, but not me. I can always find something to talk about, but not today. I couldn’t believe how tongue-tied I was. I glanced over at Sunny thinking that by doing that I’d think of something to say, but nothing. She glanced back at me and just gave me a little smile of reassurance as we continued on back – not hurrying, just going at the same easy pace that we came out at. She may have been nervous, but she knew what she was doing.

After another a minute or so of silence, Sunny did something inadvertently that really told me just how comfortable overall that she was. She started singing. This is something she’s never written about herself as far as I know, but she does it all the time – when she’s happy or content. She sings along with the stereo or she sings her favorite pop songs or praise songs from church or just anything that pops into her head. She doesn’t sing loud to attract attention. She just kind of sings to herself, but she’s not afraid if others hear her. When she started singing to herself at that moment, I instantly realized that what we were doing was normal to her and she was content to be out there with me like that. That little action spoke volumes to me just then about what this was all about.

When we got back to where we started she said something like, well that’s probably about enough for today. She started picking up each item of clothing and straightening it out prior to putting any of it back on. She just took her time. Again in my nervousness (yeah, still) I turned away to put my shoes and socks back on. By the time I was done fumbling around with that, she was dressed and we headed back. As we got back to the road and ran back to town, we talked a little bit about what we had just done, but mostly it was just about miscellaneous things. For whatever reason I avoided talking about what I was thinking about – still in shock, I guess. We didn’t have much time when we got back before I had to head back and go to work.

All the way home and the whole time at work, all I could think about was the experience that I’d just been through. It hadn’t happened at all in the way that I expected it to what with her nude and me dressed. I had been assuming that whenever we did this that we would both be nude and that idea had me so scared. I had all of these anxieties conjured up in my mind about my inferiorities, involuntary reactions, stupid things I might say or do, and imagined all kinds of negative things that Sunny might think about me because of it all. But then Sunny in a complete surprise to me had taken all of that upon herself. She had made the first move. And while that didn’t alleviate all my nervousness, it did help me get through it and not be quite so focused on myself. What I realized now that my mind couldn’t comprehend before was that all these ideas that I had contrived all on my own about what it might be like were wrong. What I had observed in reality that afternoon was that everything that Sunny had said about it over the last few weeks was exactly how it was. Being nude outdoors in that place appeared to be totally normal and natural and in tune with nature. It was not weird. It was not sexually oriented. It was calm. It was peaceful. It was good.

At any rate those are the things I was thinking about and I could have kicked myself for not talking to Sunny more about it earlier when we were together. As soon as I got home from work, I called her to talk to her about it and to apologize for my weird behavior, but she wasn’t home yet so I left a message asking her to call me no matter how late. I tried to study, but thinking was difficult. I needed to talk to Sunny and talk over my thoughts with her. Finally, the phone rang and it was her so we talked. Actually, I did most of the talking. It always helps me figure things out to talk something through with somebody else and Sunny is such a great listener.

The first thing I did was apologize for being so quiet and tongue-tied and for acting so not myself. She thought maybe I was mad at her or something so I’m glad we got that cleared up.

I then told her about all my stupid fears and misconceptions and how in that short period of time she had turned them around. I told her how surprised I was that the situation really was not sexual like I thought it would be. I sort of blundered on that one because I first said I was surprised that she wasn’t sexy when I meant to say was that she wasn’t any more sexy than any other time.

I told her about how I hadn’t expected to be surprised the first time I saw her nude, but that in actuality I had been and I told her why. Her usual response to something like that that she’s not sure she agrees with is, ‘that’s interesting,’ and she always puts a little pause between the two words. We talked about how it truly did appear so natural to be like that outdoors. She said there are no barriers that way. We talked about how to me even as a non-participant it all appeared so peaceful and such a normal way to be. I told her I thought I was starting to get it now. She told me that she agreed that it sounded like I was and that she was glad, because that meant that I now had a better understanding of her and her motives.

I also told her how beautiful I thought she was like that. I try to always compliment on her appearance and she always looks great no matter what. She is always so gracious in accepting compliments although she does it in such a humble way as though they are not deserved. She always responds with a simple ‘thanks’ or ‘that’s sweet’ or ‘I’m glad you think so’. She honestly doesn’t realize how beautiful she is and that just makes her all the more beautiful.

When we went to the pasture for the second time and we walked from the gate to the trees, I could see that the trees had lost most of their leaves by now. I said something about the place right there where Sunny said she often gets undressed, but she said that there wasn’t enough tree cover now between there and the road. She said that we would need to go farther into the trees and use the place she calls her hidey place just to be on the safe side.

I was surprised how calm I was feeling. Even though we had talked about all this, I was still expecting to be scared to death, but I wasn’t – at least not yet I wasn’t. When Sunny had told me that she would feel vulnerable with me and that she was trusting me, that really opened my eyes. All along I had been thinking that she was the confident experienced one and that I was the newbie who had to trust her and the circumstances to do this without making a fool out of myself. So when she told me that she was entering into new territory, too, and that she was a little apprehensive about it too, I felt like maybe we were more equal in this than I first thought. So when she, the one who is always confident and secure let down her guard to tell me that, I knew that she really did trust me and I also knew I wasn’t about to betray her trust in any way.

In addition to that, she had said and done so many things to build up my confidence and courage that I really did believe that I could do this – at least with her – and that there was no way I would make a fool out of myself in her eyes. So armed with all that, I was proceeding full speed ahead and feeling like there was no way I could fail.

As we walked along, we talked some (not really about what we were going to do) and I also remember that a bunch of different thoughts were going through my head. I think I was just trying to keep my brain busy so I wouldn’t get scared. One of the goofy things I remember thinking about as we were walking along through the trees was wondering what it would feel like to walk barefoot in all these leaves.

We came to the place above the hidey place. She said follow me as she went to the little path place that led down there. I noticed then that I was starting to get butterflies in my stomach. We walked down the side in silence. I think she was feeling a little nervous for me although she didn’t really act like it.

Then when we got to the bottom, we both of us just kind of stood there looking at each other for a few seconds. I was really nervous now, but I was determined to keep going, so I pulled off my shirt and sort of threw it down on the leaves beside me. Sunny then pulled hers off in the same sort of way and threw it down more deliberately on top of mine (she still had on her sports bra) like she was answering a challenge. We both laughed, still kind of nervously. Then she leaned down to untie her shoes to take them off. I remember I just pulled mine off without untying. We both finished getting rid of our socks about the same time and left them where they laid. Without hesitation, she grabbed her sports bra with both hands by bringing her arms across her chest and then pulled it straight up and off and dropped it to the side. But believe it or not I wasn’t really thinking about that – I was worried about what I had to do next. There wasn’t any waiting around with all this – we both kept moving and that’s probably what got me through it. So at about the time she finishing with her sports bra, I hooked my thumbs into the waistband of my shorts and underwear, took a deep breath, slid them down, and stepped out of them leaving them where they were. As I was finishing that, Sunny slid her shorts down, stepped out of them, and stood back up and started folding them.

We had both been facing each other the whole time this time and I was feeling kind of overwhelmed with the fact that I was now completely naked right out there in front of my beautiful completely naked girlfriend. I remember as she had stood back up with her shorts, without thinking I just remarked, no panties. She had told me before and I had read in her stories that she often didn’t wear panties when she knew she was going to be nude, but I guess I was struggling for something to say in the fear of the moment. She immediately repeated what I had said (no panties), but she changed her expression and said it in a funny way like it was a surprising or shocking situation. I don’t know how to describe it– it was just a really funny thing to happen right then in that moment of awkwardness and we both laughed. It helped me.

Sunny was great during all this. She didn’t stare at me or look surprised or say anything like oh, is that what you look like – I wouldn’t have guessed. She just accepted me as I was – she treated me like everything was normal and with her it was. I think that was what helped me to keep going.

And keep going was what I needed to do. I said come on let’s go back up and walk around. She said that we needed to hide our stuff first. She joked around and said she wasn’t going to let me leave my stuff laying around and trash up the great outdoors like I do my room. We laughed some more and after we hid our stuff I said, now can we go? She said, well, what are you waiting for – Christmas? - lead the way. Well then come on let’s go, I said and immediately started back up the side. Keep moving. Keep moving.

When we got to the top, I said what now? Whatever you want, babe – it’s your day, she said. So we took off in the same direction we had gone before.

This was all such a new set of feelings for me. I remember the feeling of the wind blowing against my whole body. I remember noticing that the ground and the grass and the leaves all felt cooler to my feet this time out here. I told Sunny all these things that were new to me and she agreed with me and said that these were things she first noticed, too.

I kept saying things like, this is great or this is pretty cool. She always agreed with me and there were several times that she told me I was doing great. With that kind of encouragement, my nervousness and uncertainty gradually faded away. I didn’t notice exactly when my feelings of nervousness and awkwardness stopped altogether – I just noticed after a while I didn’t feel that way anymore.

Another thing I noticed was that I didn’t feel bad or awkward about looking at her. I guess I felt that because we were both nude that we were now more like equal or sort of on the same level. We simply looked at each other as we talked and interacted just like we do any other time. I still wasn’t used to seeing her like this, but at least now it didn’t seem so awkward. And she in turn didn’t seem to act like me being nude was awkward or anything out of the ordinary either. That helped me not to worry about anything and to just take everything as it happened.

Once we were out in the open, Sunny suggested we follow a different route than the one we took the first time. She said it would allow us more distance to hike and that sounded good to me. So we continued along the edge of the trees out in the open instead of going straight up the hill. This was all so new to me, but I was liking it. We talked a lot now as we walked together. She talked a lot about the first time she and Jeff had come to this place or that and also about her and Julie and also the three of them together hiking out here. She pointed out where she and Ann and Jim had first met and where they had gone.

When we came to a fence, we went up a hill and when we reached the top, Sunny told me that we were at the farthest point in the pasture. She told me about how far she thought we were from where we started and that that’s where our clothes were and I said to her, whoa, that’s kind of scary. She said, not really – when you think about it, don’t we have exactly what we need? I thought how practical is that! Sunny went on to say not only do we have exactly what we need, we don’t have the burdens of things we don’t need. It’s like there’s no extra baggage to separate us from the nature that surrounds us. That made sense to me on the surface, but it was still hard to get used to the idea that not only did we not have any clothes on, there were none to put on. Sunny didn’t seem to have any problem with it though, so I put it out of my mind and just concentrated on the moment.

From there we walked down the hill on another side to a pond. We walked a long the edge of it for a ways and then headed off in a slightly different direction to go to another pond. Sunny said it was newer and that it had been built since she had started hiking out here. But when we came in sight of it, we saw that the cattle were drinking and grazing there, so we stopped. Sunny said that she tries to never disturb the cattle out of respect for the owner.

So then we made our way back to the first pond. We walked down around behind the dam and up on the opposite side that we had been on. We came to a spot that the cattle must have used a lot to drink, because it was all dirt and rough and no grass. Sunny picked up a dirt clod there and threw it out into the pond with a splash. I did the same only mine went out a little farther. Sunny took that as a challenge, picked up another one, and threw it as hard as she could. It almost hit the bank on the other side. I then threw one that did go clear across and landed on the other bank. Then just to tease her I laughed and said that maybe she should try a little harder next time. She’s always so competitive. She laughed a fake laugh and took a few steps along the bank to look for another dirt clod. When she picked one up, I thought it was a little large to throw very far and then suddenly she slammed it into the water right in front of me so that I got splashed big time! What a shock – that water was cold! She just laughed and said, you mean like that? And then she ran back away from the edge of the pond before I could get even.

We walked and talked some more and even backtracked over parts of the pasture again just because, I don’t know why, just because we were having such a great time. We spent a couple of hours or maybe more out there like that before the temperature started cooling off. Of course, we had no idea what time it really was because neither one of us was wearing a watch. Sunny had explained her practice of having absolutely nothing on to me and I was following her lead in that, too. What started out so new and scary at first now seemed pretty much a new but normal thing; Sunny was the sole reason for that. Her unconditional acceptance of me as I tried and learned this was what had made me go from so scared to so comfortable. It was great. I told her all these things as we walked back through the trees to the hidey place.

As we were sorting out clothes and starting to get dressed, Sunny talked about how this is the worst part and I had to agree. Each thing that went on suddenly seemed stifling and constricting. The second we were both dressed, Sunny rushed over and hugged me. As we held each other, she was thanking me for trying this with her and saying how great it was that we were like this together and how courageous she thought I was for trying it and more things like that. That kind of talk can really build a guy up and she’s so great about that. Then her voice got quieter and she said that she loved me, that she thought I had done great, and that I was a natural at this. I said, so I didn’t embarrass you or disappoint you or anything bad? She answered in that soft sincere voice of hers, no Brian, you’re beautiful and you look so capable.

Then we put on our shoes to head back, but I didn’t really need mine – I was walking on clouds!