The year started out in the usual manner – COLD! Cold is the bane of all nudists. Well, at least it is for this one. But I suppose that was just as well since I needed to be concentrating on school anyway. And concentrate I did. The spring semester was interesting as well as a lot of work. As usual, I worked hard and learned a lot. But don’t feel too sorry for me – I still managed to have a lot of fun times with my friends.

It was sometime in March before I was able to begin my nudist season. I don’t remember the exact date, but I started out with nude hiking way back in the pasture. When there are no leaves on the trees yet, you have to go farther back to be out of sight of the road. I do remember that it was still pretty chilly that day. My early morning nude running began sometime much later when the temperatures were a lot warmer.

In late March, a wonderful thing happened. I met someone. He walked into my life and I haven’t been the same since. I was just minding my own business going about my life as usual and suddenly one evening there was Brian. Introductions were made. He was cool, humorous, nice, sweet, outgoing, charming, confident, attentive, and so good looking. And when he smiled at me, my heart just melted! He asked me out that night. And I…turned him down. I can’t believe I did that! What was wrong with me?! What the heck was I thinking?!!

Fortunately, he asked me again after a few weeks when we knew each other a little better. That was the beginning and we’ve been together and growing closer ever since.

I knew he was special right from the beginning, but it wasn’t until finals were upon us that we realized how special our relationship really was. Then the semester was over and he had to go back to his hometown for the summer. What a cruel twist of fate!

When school was out I switched over to full time mode at the local community center where I’ve been a lifeguard all through college. This was the first summer that I haven’t gone to summer school since I started college.

At the pools this summer a number of management responsibilities were added to my usual lifeguard duties. It was the equivalent of being an assistant manager although I didn’t have a title that reflected that. I was responsible for managing and scheduling the pools and the guard staff. I did some of the interviewing and hiring of the summer staff and unfortunately had to be involved in one firing (I didn’t like that). I was very busy and I felt like the management duties provided me some great experience that will be beneficial when I graduate and get a job out in the real world.

Brian and I stayed in touch during the summer. We both ran up some awful phone bills. He came back a couple of times and I went over there once to help him celebrate his twenty-first birthday. My fear when he left at the end of the semester was that we would drift apart over the summer and not get back together when he came back to school, but my fears were unfounded. In fact, we continued to grow closer even though we were apart for most of the summer.

The summer wasn’t all work and loneliness, though. I had a lot of good times with friends. My best friend, Julie and I had some great times together. Some of these involved nudism and others didn’t. One highlight: I had the privilege of introducing her to my friend, Ann. The three of us spent a great day together (I’ve written about that). Later on, I had the privilege to go camping twice at the nudist campground that I’ve written about before. I’ve already written about one of those trips and will probably write up something about the other one, too. Also, there were a number of other outdoor nude activities that I did around home. Most of those were by myself.

At long last, the summer drew to a close and the fall semester was about to begin. And that meant Brian was back! It was so nice to be with him nearly every day again. We don’t go to the same school so we don’t get to see each other every day. We picked up right where we left off and continued to grow closer. But there was one thing weighing heavily on my mind. I hadn’t yet told him that I was a nudist and about all my nudist activities. By the time I felt we were close enough to talk about that in the spring, the semester was nearly over and he was about to leave for the summer. Somehow saying ‘Good-bye…I’ll miss you…I’m a nudist…See you in three months’ just didn’t seem like a good way to tell him. But now that we were back together, I needed to tell him. I wanted to tell him. I didn’t want there to be any secrets between us. It was the only thing he didn’t know about me and I wanted him to know everything. I felt like he would understand, but I wanted to tell him at just the right time under just the right circumstances so that I could fully explain why I felt the way I did and how I got started. So as classes began again and all the studying and other activities began to increase, I was biding my time and watching for just the right opportunity.

The fall semester began my senior year. I was taking mostly advanced courses and needless to say, I was having to do mega amounts of studying. Fortunately, I was now back to part-time at the community center pool.

…Then came September 11... Disbelief, shock, horror, fear, anger, repulsion, sympathy, grief, sorrow, disappointment - all those feelings went pulsating through me over and over again. They consumed me for days.

I was in my first class of the day when I first heard the news. Someone from the administrative office there in the business department knocked on the door and briefly announced what had happened. As horrible as it sounded, it didn’t fully sink in at first. The professor proceeded on with the class, but his ability to stay focused was about as weak as our ability to concentrate on what he was trying to accomplish.

When class was over, I had a break between classes so I walked over to the student union to find out more about what had happened. There was a large group of students sitting and standing around a TV. I joined them and began to watch the news coverage and the scenes of destruction. That’s when it really, really hit me. The loss of life, the injuries, all those who had lost family and friends. I felt so sorry for them and so utterly helpless to do anything.

Some say that we college students are too removed from what actually goes on the world – that we’re detached and that we’re not involved and that we don’t really care, but that was certainly not the case around that TV that morning. Every one of us was glued to what was being shown and said. No one was saying anything. We were just huddled together there. As the scenes were played and re-played, the sorrow that I felt continued to well up inside me. I was crying. So were several others. I felt someone put an arm around me. It was a girl standing next to me. Tears were streaming down her face and yet at the same time she was trying to comfort me. I put down my book bag and put my arm around her. We didn’t even know each other, but there we stood side by side watching in shock and horror and sorrow at what had just happened.

Over the next days, I continued on with school, work, and studying, but the events of September 11 continued to weigh heavily on my heart. I attended prayer groups on campus and at my church. I gave blood. I gave money. Brian and I did a lot of these things together. But thinking about all those people who had lost loved ones and all those people involved in the rescue efforts made me wish I could do more.

And then one day, I started to come to grips with the situation. It was a Saturday – a rainy, chilly day. I worked in the morning and early afternoon. Whenever I would glance at the wall of windows that enclosed one side of the pool, they were streaked with rain running down them and dark gray skies beyond which seemed to fit my gloomy, depressed mood exactly. By the time I was off work and headed home, the rain had nearly stopped, but the low dark gray clouds remained.

Upon arriving home, I decided that the rain had let up enough for me to go for a run even though it looked like the rain could resume at any moment. Running always makes me feel better. I ran my country route, which takes me out past the pasture where I do my nude hiking, but that was the last thing I was thinking about that chilly, rainy day. As I came back past the pasture, something told me to stop. Something told me that there I would find some peace and solitude if only for a little while. I followed my intuition and climbed the gate and headed through the wet grass toward the trees. Then I entered the trees, crossed the creek, and came out of the trees on the other side into the first open grassy area. This is a beautiful small meadow area with a hill in the middle. Trees border this meadow on three sides with the fourth side being open to the next pasture and the larger hills beyond.

I came out into the open there and just stopped. It was very peaceful. All I could hear was the sound of my own breathing and the sound of the light rain hitting my nylon wind suit. A feeling of calmness gradually came over me and as usual when I’m out there, the familiar urge to be nude. I hesitated on that due to the chilly, rainy conditions – the temperature was probably in the fifties. But then after a few more minutes of the calmness without feeling cold, I decided to give in to the urge – at least for a few minutes.

I took everything off. Then I began walking slowly out into the meadow. I could feel the cold, wet grass under my bare feet and the light cold rain falling gently against my skin already wet with sweat from running. I could sense the cold air, but didn’t as yet find it uncomfortable.

I walked slowly along the bottom of the hill in deep thought about the world situation. It was so unfathomable to me that people could hate with such intensity – that they could commit their lives to the sole purpose of destroying so many innocent people as well as themselves. But I knew I shouldn’t dwell on that. I knew that instead I should do something more positive and more productive – for others as well as myself.

So there in the quiet solitude of that meadow I began to pray. I got down on my knees there on that open hillside feeling the cold wet grass against my knees and legs. I prayed for the injured and the missing. I prayed for the families that had lost loved ones and that were missing loved ones. I prayed that more of the missing would be found alive. I prayed for the safety of the rescuers and the caregivers. The more I thought about the victims and their families there in the dark oppressive grayness of that afternoon, the more sorrow began to overwhelm me and I found myself crying again. Gradually it began to rain harder again which just compounded the sorrow I felt as I prayed. I felt the cold rain striking my skin and running down my back.

Suddenly I became aware of a new thought – I don’t know if it was random or if it was placed there – but a question occurred to me: could it be that God felt the same sadness and sorrow that I did? Could it be that He was as disappointed with mankind as I felt? Could it be that he was crying with me and that this rain represented His tears? I looked up into the sky and felt the cold rain striking my face and mixing with my warm tears. And then I thought why wouldn’t He be disappointed? He wants us to love one another. He has done so much to teach us that and yet we still often fail so miserably. He even went so far as to demonstrate His awesome love by sending His son to actually live among us as one of us - teaching us and showing us on our level and then ultimately dying for us. But we don’t get it. After all that, we still don’t get it. How sad. How very sad for us all.

Yet I felt comforted now - knowing that He was present, that He is always present, and that He cares so much for us – all of us. These thoughts served as a reminder to me that I should stay focused on what He has taught us about loving one another. I felt that I should continue with the things I had been doing to support the relief effort, but then stop worrying and be content that that was enough for one person to do. I needed to keep in mind that I was just one of many, many others all over the world supporting the relief effort and that He was there working, also – working through mankind and able to do anything that was too great for mankind.

Now after all this time in the cold rain, I was wet, cold, and shivering. I walked back to where I had started out, re-dressed, and ran back home. That day was a turning point in how I dealt with the tragedies.

A couple of weeks after that, I finally got up the nerve to tell Brian I was a nudist. It wasn’t exactly what I had imagined that the perfect opportunity would be like, but it worked out OK. He was very surprised when I told him – even a little shocked. But we talked a lot about it that night. I had plenty of time to tell him all about why I did it and what it meant to me. He had a lot of questions and I was able to answer all of them. Fortunately, he is open to new thoughts and ideas and he cares about me and what I think. He’s a great listener and a great conversationalist. We can (and do) talk about anything and everything. I was so relieved to finally have this issue out in the open so that there were no longer any secrets between us. I immediately felt so much closer to him – like a barrier between us had been removed.

Over the next couple of weeks, he had a lot more questions and we had a number of in-depth discussions. We were at the point where I was assured that he understood me and my motivations and I knew that he accepted the fact that nudism was normal and OK for me. However, it was also clear to me that he really couldn’t yet imagine what nudism might be like to experience nor did he know whether or not it was something he wanted to try for himself someday. That was OK with me – I was simply going to be patient and follow his lead. It was totally up to him.

Then one afternoon, he was over and we went running together. We seldom were together during the day because (as I said before) we don’t go to the same school and our study and work schedules vary so much. We were running out on my country route, which took us past "the pasture". I of course had told him all about "the pasture" and brought it to his attention as we ran along the road beside it. He asked more questions as we ran on out to the turnaround point and then coming back he stopped near "the pasture" gate asking more questions as we looked toward the trees. Finally, I suggested we just go on back there and look around. He agreed.

As we looked around and I showed him where I introduced first Jeff and then Julie to nudism, all of a sudden it became clear to me that he really was interested in knowing all about what it was like. However, he was definitely not to the point that he was ready to try it for himself. I wasn’t about to push him into it before he was ready, but it was now apparent to me that he was ready for something more – the next step - an example – someone to demonstrate. And who better to fill that role than me? I told him my idea. He said he wasn’t sure, but I said that I was. Then I told him that I was going to get undressed right here and right now and then we would continue our little tour of the pasture. Keep in mind that I had never been nude with him before nor he with me. It felt very awkward, but I proceeded to undress as though I had all the confidence in the world. Poor Brian on the other hand acted every bit as uncomfortable as he felt. He sort of looked off in another direction while I undressed. In fact, I had to say ‘let’s go’ to let him know that I was ready to continue our walk.

As we began walking through the pasture together, the awkwardness continued. He didn’t look at me. He didn’t say anything unless I initiated it. And we didn’t hold hands or any of the other little affectionate things that we ordinarily did whenever we were together. I sensed that he was overwhelmed with the situation, but at the same time I felt that this was the right step to be taking. I did my best to just be myself and act normal for the most part. Gradually, we both began to loosen up and talk a little more, but we never did reach a point where we were totally relaxed together like that. After not too long a time, we returned to where we had started, I got dressed, and we left.

During the run back to my place, Brian began to ask some questions and discuss the experience we had just had. Over the next couple of weeks, we had a lot more in-depth discussions. Now that he had been to the place that I had told him so much about and he had actually seen me living out what I had told him so much about, he now saw nudism as something real. He could imagine what it might be like for him to experience it – even with me - and he had a lot of more realistic questions and concerns. We took them one at a time and talked about them in depth as much as he wanted.

Then one day - at his suggestion - we went back to the pasture for another hike. But this time Brian didn’t look away as I undressed. In fact, by the time I was completely nude…he was, too. That’s right – both of us - together. Now this time he was the one that said ‘come on, let’s go’. We spent a good couple of hours that nice fall afternoon hiking the pasture. Not much awkwardness this time and what little there was soon was gone.

That day marked our beginning as a nudist couple. It was the first time, but it hasn’t been the last. He’s such an enthusiastic participant and I’m so happy that he’s joined me in the enjoyment of this liberating freedom. He may have been hesitant at first, but now? Now he’s as all for it just like I am. Having him join me is so wonderful. He’s so wonderful! I’ll write this up in more detail one of these days. Maybe I can even persuade him to help me.

Well, school kept me busier than ever and before I knew it, the semester was nearing its end. Time to finish all those end-of-the-semester projects and prepare for finals. Then the semester ended and Brian went back home for the holidays. I began working extra to pick-up the slack for those that had gone home, but I still had time to relax, unwind, and enjoy the holidays. I spent time with family and saw old friends that were home from college.

It’s been a great year. Now I’m looking forward to 2002. My last semester of college. Graduation. Get a job. There’ll be lots of new and exciting things to do and as always I plan to have some fun along the way.

I wish you joy, prosperity, health, and peace in 2002.