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Lessons Learned from Growing Up with Family Nudity

By Zack!

I posted about this on Sunny’s message board a long time ago and said I’d tell the mud story – the whole thing. It took me longer to get around to it than I thought. Then I found I had more to say than I thought. Then Sunny challenged me to expand on it further still. So now after all the starts and stops and procrastination (mostly that), here is the mud story and more. Hope you like it.

The purpose of my writing overall is to explain how family nudity gave me what I think is a healthy, balanced outlook on nudity and how that has helped me to see the goodness of simple nudity and how to distinguish it beyond a purely sexual context. Although my family wasn’t nudist – far from it – my up bringing within a family where nudity was not uncommon allowed me to escape any preconceived notions or phobias about the naked body – mine or others – and I think that cleared the way for me to think about nudity with an open mind and has ultimately allowed me to choose what I guess could best be described as a nudist lifestyle. I’m beginning to explore the social aspect.

I’m pretty sure my family was typical of most large families. A lot of people living together in close proximity under the same roof. There were six of us: dad, mom, and four of us kids – girl, boy, girl, and boy (me, the youngest). Seeing someone naked or being seen naked – accidental or casual - wasn’t always a daily occurrence, but it wasn’t too uncommon either. And it could involve anyone of us including my parents. Although they had their own master bath, neither my mom or my dad were above coming out in the hall naked, say, to get a towel from the linen closet or more likely to yell at us kids for fighting or some other disordliness.

And us kids? Well we just grew up with it. Me especially, being the youngest, I was at the bottom of the food chain for everything including privacy. I grew up not having any, so I guess I never expected much. And being the youngest, I didn’t always get automatically kicked out of the bathroom or wherever when my sisters were present and felt it was less of a bother to just let me stay there while they were changing or showering than throw me out.

The layout of our house was such that all the bedrooms were upstairs. My brother and I shared one bedroom and my sisters shared another. Both opened directly to a common bathroom that we all four had to share. You can just imagine the potential for arguments and fights with that arrangement. I already mentioned my parents’ arrangements. There was also a guest bedroom and bath, but those were off-limits to us kids for the most part so that they would always be ready for the fairly frequent visits of my grandparents. Any overflow usage from our bathroom was to our parents room.

Given all this, it was fairly common for us boys including my dad to see each other changing or showering at least until my brother hit adolescence; then he tried to keep more to himself. But the girls including my mom were often times together in one place or another like that.

Being dressed was the norm at our house, but nobody fell apart over being seen naked or seeing somebody else naked. I think my parents just considered it a fact of life for a large family like we were. And us kids (mostly the older ones) would yell about it if it happened and get mad and fight back, but nothing traumatic. That’s how it was with a lot of things –try to protect your turf – but no big deal if you didn’t – just get even the first chance you got.

In our family, nudity had its place and time and as I said, it was just a fact of life. I think that helped me see a lot of things as normal that maybe a lot of kids didn’t get exposed to growing up. For example I never wondered much about my body development. I saw my dad naked sometimes, and I saw my brother go from looking like me to looking more like him. And with my sisters, I saw them go from looking like beanpoles to looking more like my mom. I think that helped a lot when I got interested in girls. I wasn’t obsessed over wondering what they looked like naked the way most of my friends were. I basically already knew. But I was fully intrigued by all the other attractions of girls in a very strong way. I liked girls a lot, wanted to impress them, wanted them to like me, wanted to be with them, etc., etc. I think I was perpetually in love starting from about the seventh grade.

Now that I’ve given you all that background, let me tell you about something that happened one day that illustrates what I’m trying to say. This was an extreme situation. I don’t recall anything like it ever happening but this once. If I’m remembering the year correctly, this happened during the summer that Sis 1 was 15, my brother was 13, Sis 2 was 11 and I was 10. It was summer, so we were out of school. Mom had just gone back to work part-time and my parents had put Sis 1 in charge of the rest of us when they were both at work. They were paying my sister to do this. I have no idea how much, but given our high-level of orneriness, I’m sure it wasn’t anywhere close to being enough. Poor girl. She should have gotten combat pay for having to put up with us – especially my brother.

Anyway, we lived in a typical neighborhood except that the houses on our side of the street backed up to a treed area with a small creek running through it. One day after it rained, us three younger ones were down there getting into trouble big time. My brother had convinced us that it would be OK to wade in the water as long as we didn’t get any mud on our clothes. Well, of course it didn’t take long for that to happen. Then Sis 1 comes down and catches us in the act and let us have it, yelling at us to get out of there. Keep in mind that at our house, every order was loud and was immediately followed by the word, NOW about three times louder still. Didn’t matter who was giving the orders, that’s one thing that was always the same.

But that didn’t faze my brother. He started goofing around pretending he was stuck and wanted Sis 1 to help him get out. She started to pull him out - then he pulled her in, too. She didn’t get too muddy out of it, but she let my brother have it both verbally and physically. Keep in mind that we’re a tall family. My parents were both tall and us kids were all tall for our respective ages. Sis 1 was already a serious athlete in school – cross-country, basketball, and track – so she could work my brother over pretty good whenever she felt like it or whenever he needed it - in other words, all the time. Of course she could do the same to Sis 2 and me, too, but we both knew and respected (feared) that. But my brother couldn’t seem to learn that – not even the hard way.

She commanded us all to go back up to the house. Our house had a walk-out basement with a door and small patio landing there in the back. She turned on the garden hose, lined us up, and started spraying the mud off of our legs and clothes there next to that landing. When she was finished with us, she started to spray the mud off her legs trying to be careful not to get her shorts wet. Then she asked Sis 2 to spray off the back of her (Sis 1’s) legs. My brother suddenly and intentionally bumped or grabbed Sis 2’s arm so that Sis 1 got sprayed pretty good getting her clothes wet up the back. More serious railing and retaliation against my brother. I told you he didn’t get it.

Then Sis 1 ordered us all inside to the laundry room which was there in the basement. She ordered us all to get undressed and put our clothes in the washer. My brother objected saying he was too old for everyone to see him naked. She shouted, “Fine! Then get undressed out there and leave your clothes and go on up and take a shower. NOW!” “Fine!” he shouted back and stepped out.

Sis 1 then closed the door of the laundry room, and ordered us again to get undressed as she did the same. For whatever reason, the door to the laundry room didn’t close all the way. Something was warped I suppose that caused it to lack an inch or two from closing completely. About the time the three of us finished undressing, Sis 2 noticed my brother peeking in through that gap in the door and hollered about it. I guess that was the last straw for Sis 1. She yanked open the door and grabbed my brother before he knew what hit him. She put him in a head lock and dragged him into the laundry room. The two of them shouting at each other at the top of their lungs. I’d seen them go at it plenty of times before, but this topped all. She held him in the head lock and shouted at Sis 2 and me to pull his shorts off. We hesitated and she shouted at us again all the louder and threatened us if we didn’t obey her. Then when we tried to do what she said, he kicked and swung at us and kept us away. That set Sis1 off all the more. She released him from the head lock and grabbed him by his arms twisting them behind him so that she still had full control over him. Then she slammed him against the washer like that.

Keep in mind that she was completely naked as all this was taking place. I remember how strong she looked in a girl way with her muscles tensed as she held him pinned against the washer in front of her. Then she shouted at us again to pull his shorts off. Sis 2 and I were both too intimidated now not to do exactly what she ordered even if we got hurt in the process. My brother struggled but he was powerless. When they say girls are usually more advanced than boys at any given age, that was true in our family. My brother was simply no match for her. Sis 2 and I managed to get hold of his wet shorts and underwear and struggled to get them down in the midst of all the chaos. Then Sis 1 sort of stepped on them between his feet and yanked back and swung him around so that they came clear off. Sis 2 and I jumped back to avoid all the kicking and flailing.

Still holding him with his arms behind his back, she turned him towards us, now shouting furiously at him about him thinking he was too old to be seen naked and then sneaking around and peeping at the rest of us. Then she told Sis 2 and me to “Look at him! Look at him!” And then to him she shouted, “There! How do YOU like it you little perv!”

Then releasing him she pushed him away from her. He stumbled trying not to fall and it didn’t help that he was awkwardly trying to cover himself by clasping both hands over his package and yell at her all at the same time. But she never let up. Still shouting at him, she yelled, “I’ve had it up to here with you! You’re no better than the rest of us! Now you’re naked too! Just like the rest of us. You wanna peep-peep and see somebody naked? Look at ME! Yeah look at who beat you up. You want a closer look?” And she started toward him again. He side stepped to avoid her and go around her, but slipping and almost falling as he awkwardly tried to keep himself covered and avoid her reach at the same time. He failed at both – she caught him with a loud slap to his shoulder as he skirted past and dashed out of the laundry room.

She then turned to us and coldly said, “Pick up you clothes and put them in the washer.” We did. Then she said, “Now go up and take a shower.” As we left, she was picking up her clothes and my brother’s and getting ready to start the washer.

When we got upstairs to our bathroom, my brother was already in the shower, door to the bathroom closed. We waited. After a few minutes, Sis1 came up, walked right passed us, yanked open the door and went in yelling at my brother, “You’re done! Get out!!” He shouted back about leaving him alone and that he wasn’t done yet. Then she yanked open the shower curtain and yelled, “I said you’re done! Get out – NOW!” He was turned around facing the wall with soap all over him and again trying to cover himself. She just grabbed the hand held shower head out of the holder and started spraying him off. Then again said, “You’re done. Get out.” He said, “No. Give me a towel.” She shouted, “Get out and get it yourself!” And with that she slapped him across the back. “OW!” he yelled and then tried to step out of the tub, trying to keep as far away from her as he could, and cover himself with his hands. He failed on all counts as she didn’t give up any ground, standing there with the shower head in her hand spraying into the tub and just waiting for him to try something else. He scrambled into our bedroom slamming the door behind him. She immediately dropped the shower head, went over and yanked open the door, and screamed, “Leave it OPEN!!” He shouted something back, but the door stayed open.

Then she turned to us and said, “Get in.” We knew she meant both of us and right now. We didn’t hesitate. She immediately sprayed us down, then poured shampoo into our hands and told us to start washing. As we finished washing ourselves she was rinsing us off and we were done shortly. Then she told us to get out, dry off and get dressed. Then she added, “And stay in the house until Mom gets home.” I remember protesting and asking if my brother had to stay in too. She didn’t even acknowledge my question – she stepped into the shower and yanked the shower curtain closed without even looking at us. Her way of telling us to get lost.

Sis2 went to their bedroom and I went to ours. After I got dressed I wandered downstairs. My brother was watching TV. I joined him. Then Sis 2 came down and joined us. None of us said anything. We were all afraid of all the trouble we were going to be in when Mom got home and Sis1 told her everything. But the funny thing is nothing happened. Apparently Sis 1 didn’t tell on us. And I suppose Mom came home and saw us all clean and orderly and she was pleased (although that should have been her first clue that there was a cover up going on). And later that evening after Dad came home and we finished dinner, we all six went up to the community pool and swam and played together like there had never been the slightest scuffle at all. Nothing was ever mentioned of that incident that I know of.

So there is the mud story that I promised to tell. No one ever died from the nudity although they came close to it for other reasons (just joking). But that’s why I think family nudity – unintentional as it was –helped me to first of all never think that nudity is some big secret that must be protected at all costs or be ashamed of, and second of all gave me the confidence and conviction that it’s OK – even a good idea – to be naked if you want to; even with others if you and they are of the same mind about it. But I’m sure I’m the only one of my family that thinks like that or that has even thought about it.

After remembering this story, I was reminded of something else of my growing up that I believe is also important to note and that has to do with the habits or traditions that we have about nudity and modesty. Modesty and nudity are not opposing things. Modesty is more about actions and intentions and nudity just is the state of being undressed. One doesn’t necessarily affect the other.

Case in point - I remember a few battles between Sis 1 and my parents when she was in high school over some of the things she wanted to wear or how she was wearing them. That was always about clothing and what was considered modest or immodest in relation to that. I don’t recall any conflicts like that with Sis 2. She was into clothes as much as Sis 1 but never seemed to want to push the envelope. She was also more into hair and make-up than Sis 1. But along with this, she also had more of a sense of modesty. Nothing wrong with that of course, but looking back on it now, some of it just seemed like she did certain things out of habit that didn’t fit the situation and that in some cases were kind of silly.

Here is an example of something that I saw her do recently that reminded me of all this. She and her family were back for a visit and we were all at my parent’s and she was feeding her little one in his high chair. Each time she leaned over with a spoonful of baby food, she brought her other hand up to her chest in modesty. The funny thing about this that caught my attention was that first of all she was wearing a tee-shirt that wasn’t even loose enough at the neck to reveal anything and secondly, it was in front of her kid who I think she was still breast feeding at the time. This is all harmless of course, but it just struck me as an example of the habits and traditions we mindlessly form about modesty. It reminded me of a time when we were still kids at home and I saw her leaning over looking into a drawer for something, searching through things with one hand and holding her other hand to her chest like that. The only unusual thing about that was that all she had on was her panties.

After Sis 1 and my brother went off to college, things calmed down quite a bit at home. That tells you who the troublemakers were. That left Sis 2 and me each with our own bedroom but still the shared bath, although with just the two of us, it was much more manageable. Also, one of my grandparents was now living with us due to poor health occupying the guest bedroom and bath keeping those facilities permanently off limits. Life was a lot more peaceful now and coexistence between Sis 2 and I had always been a little easier anyway. And that was good because now with our grandmother living with us, we were expected to keep a lid on the noise, etc.

I didn’t spend time naked in my room even though I had it all to myself and I don’t think my sister did either, although we didn’t typically hang out together. But since we still shared the bathroom there were those times once in a while that one or both of us might be naked in each others presence. This was more of a summertime occurrence when the house was hot and there wasn’t much circulation of air in our bathroom. During those months typically whoever was in the bathroom showering and just after would leave the door open to their own room and would also leave the door open a little ways to the others room to try to circulate the air and get the steam off the mirror. We had air conditioning but my parents used it minimally to save money and being upstairs it was hotter anyway. Neither of us were peekers, but in that situation you naturally couldn’t help but see the person in there a little bit.

The times we both ended up in the bathroom were those occasions when I was in a hurry to take a shower to go somewhere and she was hogging the bathroom doing her hair or make-up in order to use the big mirror and brighter lighting. In those instances, it would typically go like this. I’d knock on the door even though it was already open somewhat and ask if I could take a shower. She’d glance at me annoyed via the reflection of the mirror and ask if I couldn’t just wait a little while. I’d say no. She’d grudgingly say ok and open the door. She would open the door with one hand while continuing to use her curling iron or whatever she was doing with the other. Then even though she had opened the door completely naked and was now facing me, she would then put her free hand down in front of her area. She did this haphazardly like it was something she thought she was supposed to do but didn’t really know why or maybe didn’t care. Then she would turn back to the mirror and continue with what she was doing as though I wasn’t there – no apparent concern whatsoever. And of course I could see everything then, back and front via the reflection in the mirror. And as I got in the shower, she’d look via the mirror and warn me not to fog up the mirror, which I think I always did anyway.

Her hand cover thing was something I guess she thought she ought to do even though the way she did it, it was more like just down and up – just going through the motions. Thinking back, I’d say it served more to draw my eyes to follow her hand down there thus totally defeating the purpose. But girls being designed the way they are, there was really nothing to be seen down there, at least not past puberty with the girls in my house.

So to sum up, it was these various situations in my family growing up that have shaped the attitudes toward nudity that I now have as an adult. Good attitudes, I believe. I’ve been to several nudist venues now and I’ve found that for me, these have some similarities with the experiences I had growing up with my family (minus the squabbles). People are just regular people although more trusting, more open, and friendly, but still the same. And even though we may be completely naked, that does not make us immodest or shameful or in any way less than we would be otherwise. In fact I think it brings out more of a wholeness of the person.

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