First Time Story

 

By Guy Incognito

 

I am a long time reader of this web site. I wanted to share the story of my "first time" experience. It happened a few years ago, but it took me a long time to decide to write about it, and then a bit longer to actually write it. I felt a certain obligation to share my story here; after all, Sunny's stories were a major inspiration for me.

You could say I've been curious about nudists for a long time. As a little kid I would occasionally hear the term "nudist colony" and wonder what it was all about. Usually it was said either in the context of a joke or with the implication that weirdos and perverts go there. Never would I hear it used in a positive context. I would also hear about nude beaches, but as far as I knew they were a European thing, as I had never seen or heard of one in the United States.

After my discovery of the Internet around age 15, I indulged my curiosity on the subject much more. I visited various nudist web sites, and I also read extensively through the postings in the rec.nude Usenet newsgroup. All this put nudists in a more positive light, and my personal feelings on the subject changed somewhat. I no longer considered social nudity to be strange or perverted or whatever, but at the same time I still didn't have a particular interest in trying it out myself.

I discovered Sunny's web site (at the old address) when I was about 17. This caused a major shift in my thought process. I greatly enjoyed all of her stories, but most especially her "First Time" story. For the first time, I saw nudism as more than simply "not abnormal," but rather as a perfectly natural, fun, positive thing to do. But even so, I did not give much serious consideration to going nude in public myself. When her old site was taken down for a while I was saddened. I even briefly wondered whether the whole thing was made up, that maybe I had been taken in by some guy's fantasy. Then after awhile I rediscovered her new site, and I continued to visit regularly over the next few years, always looking forward to seeing a new "last updated" date indicating she had published a new story.

Fast forward to the spring semester of my senior year of college. One night I got this impulse to find out if any nude beaches were located nearby. I was already aware of some in California and Florida, but not of any near southeastern Pennsylvania, where I lived. After searching I was surprised to discover that New Jersey did, in fact, have a nude beach: Gunnison beach at Sandy Hook in North Jersey. After researching a bit more I learned that nudity was perfectly legal there (I would not, under any circumstances, have risked being arrested at an "unofficial" nude beach!) and that the drive would be under two hours, which was doable. The seed of an idea was thus planted in my brain. I began to consider actually going myself. Thinking about it, however, made me nervous. I wasn't sure how I'd react to the situation. I also felt uncomfortable with going alone, but at the same time, I knew I couldn't ask any of my college friends to come along. The college I went to was pretty typical in many respects, but they were fairly conservative when it came to nudity. There were none of the naked events you might hear about at other colleges. I figured that if I dared to broach the subject with someone, I would immediately be branded as a pervert or something. Now, you might wonder why I would care about my reputation at a school I was on the verge of graduating from. There were some practical reasons, which I won't get into, but really I lacked the courage and confidence to take that kind of risk. Aside from that, I was pretty swamped with end-of-semester work, so I decided to put off any thoughts of checking Gunnison out for the time being.

The thought refused to stay buried for long, however. Midway through the summer after graduation, the impulse hit me again, only much stronger. I knew I had to go see what it was like firsthand, or I'd regret it. I promised myself I would go as soon as the opportunity presented itself. I kept an eye on the weekend weather forecasts, but with one thing and another, it was not until the end of August that there was an available Saturday to go. Time was running short; I had read that the beach season there ends on Labor Day, which was not far off.

When I got up that morning and saw that it was a beautiful day outside, I knew that the time was right to go. Even so, I hesitated; I was still filled with doubts. What if my car broke down and I had to explain to my family what I was doing out there? What if my things were stolen? Would I stand out, or could I be safely anonymous?

The nudist sites I had read over the years had made me well aware of the prejudice against single males at nudist venues. Did that apply to public beaches, or just camps and clubs? Would people think I was there only to stare at naked women? Being a guy, I was also slightly concerned about the erection thing, but not nearly as much as the other issues I just mentioned. I just could not decide what to do. As early afternoon rolled around, I realized that it was now or never, so I decided to just go for it. I tossed a beach towel and some sunblock into a backpack, hopped in my car, and took off.

The trip out there was uneventful. The directions were fairly easy to follow, but it was a long drive, and I had waited so long to leave the house that I did not reach the gate to Sandy Hook until after 4 PM. One benefit of this was that I did not have to pay the parking fee, but I knew I would not have much time on the beach. I found the appropriate parking lot with no trouble and headed towards the entrance to the beach. With every step I took my anxiety increased. I headed down the walkway to the beach itself, where I noticed I was pretty much the only person going in that direction. Quite a few people were leaving, however. I wondered if it had been a big mistake to come so late in the day. I remember reading that beach’s parking lot gets full quickly on weekends, though, so maybe it was just as well. I passed the "beyond this point you may encounter nude sunbathers" sign, and thought, "Well, this is it... no turning back now." I reached the end of the walkway and stepped on to the sand. As I smelled the salt in the air I realized it had been years since I had gone to any beach. It was such a beautiful, sunny day; nude beach or not, I felt it had been a good idea to come. I still felt anxious, though. I slipped off the sneakers and socks I had been wearing and stuffed them into my pack, then continued barefoot towards the water.

From the end of the walkway no nude people had been visible, but now as I got closer towards the water's edge I did begin to see people, and realized that I was indeed at a nude beach. Despite it being so late in the day, the beach was still quite crowded. People were walking around, talking, swimming, and sunbathing just like at a normal beach, but with no swimsuits. It seemed so strange. Not that I thought the people were strange, of course, just the situation. I felt like I was in the Bizarro world or something. I passed a volleyball net. No one was playing at the time, but a beautiful young woman was there talking to an older man. As I passed them it occurred to me that she was the first woman I had ever seen with no clothes on (in real life, at any rate). This also made me realize that up till now, no woman had ever seen me without clothes on! (Excluding close family members many, many years ago.) Guys were another matter; I've been in lockers rooms and communal showers, and, while not completely at ease, I did not have a big problem with it. I didn't know how I would feel about being nude in front of women as well as men, but I was going to find out soon enough!

By this time I was fairly close to the water's edge. I began scouting for a place to put my stuff. Here was another tough decision. I didn't want to be off by myself and thus appear to be an outsider, nor did I want to plop down in the middle of a bunch of people and invade their personal space. I wandered to the edge of the crowd at the north end, and then started back. I began feeling really uncomfortable. Surprisingly, this was not because I was about to take my clothes off, but rather because I still had them on walking around all the nude sunbathers! I did not want to stand out any longer than necessary. A spot in front of me looked good enough, so I dropped my pack, slipped my shirt over my head, and then slid down my shorts and underwear. For the first time, I was nude in public!

I still felt kind of nervous, so I decided to swim in the ocean for a bit. I stuffed everything in my pack and headed straight towards the water. I was worried about leaving my stuff there unattended. I didn't have anything valuable with me, and I doubt anyone would have wanted my ragged old sneakers, but who knows? Imagine coming back from my swim to discover all my clothes and car keys had been stolen! I put the worry out of my mind as I entered the water, though. The ocean water felt great. The waves were very gentle compared to other beaches I had been to years ago, just right for wading or swimming. The cool water perfectly complemented the heat of the sun and sand. Plus, the feeling of swimming with no suit on was absolutely incredible! I understood at that moment why people skinnydip, and I heartily recommend it to anyone out there who hasn't tried it yet!

I swam up and down the beach for a while. Not many people were in the water; though I did pass a young couple wading together. I tried to give them as much space as I could.

I had not been in the water long when the lifeguards started blowing whistles and motioning for everyone to get out. I remembered the lifeguards' shift ended at 5 PM during the summer, but I was not sure how much authority they had, or if I could get into any trouble by swimming once the lifeguards had left. I decided not to take any chances, even though I felt cheated by having to cut my swim so short, and waded back to shore. Now here was another small test of courage. I was pretty far down the south edge of the crowd, while all my clothes were back at the north end. I was going to have to walk nude past everyone without the partial cover of the ocean water. I walked right along the water's edge, passing various men and women. It was no big deal, to my surprise. I must admit, however, to feeling a bit strange as I passed the lifeguard stand and under the gaze of the two fully clothed young female lifeguards perched on top! I knew that I did not stand out any more than anyone else, but it still made me a little uncomfortable. I wondered how someone ends up as a lifeguard at a nude beach, and if they ever tried going nude themselves.

I got back to my stuff (which had not been stolen, thankfully), but I wasn't about to leave so soon after arriving, whether I could swim or not. I spread my towel out and sat down. As the sun dried me off from my swim, I marveled some more about how nice it is to swim without a having soggy bathing suit afterwards. I decided that nude really is the way to go, for beaches at least. I just relaxed and people-watched for a while. I've heard that single females can be scarce at these beaches, but there was one not far off from where I was, reading a book. There was also a small group of older men and women in front of me. Overall, the beach seemed to have a pretty good mix of men and women of all ages. I kept to myself; although I was not made to feel unwelcome, as I originally feared, but I also did not feel comfortable striking up a conversation with anyone. I'm not really the sort of person to introduce myself to strangers, nude or not.

After awhile, more and more people began to pack up and leave, and I decided I had better do so as well to get home at a reasonable hour. Once back in my car I felt this intense exhilaration. I was filled with the desire to go back as soon as possible, with as many of my friends as possible! I imagined spending the whole day at the beach with a group of friends, talking, playing volleyball, Frisbee, swimming, and so on with no confining swimsuits getting in the way of the feeling of the wind and the water. I couldn't wait to make it happen. But as I got closer and closer towards home, the more rational part of my brain kicked in. I realized that, really, there was no one to ask. The people I knew from college were gone, and my friends from home had their own stuff going on. And honestly, I did not feel comfortable with the thought of bringing up a nude beach as a day trip idea with any of them. Even if they did not immediately jump to the mistaken conclusion that I was some kind of pervert, I knew I would not be able to convince any of them to go, and then everyone would know that I like to go to nude beaches, something I was not prepared to deal with. As Homer Simpson put it, I'm not popular enough to be different! I also worried about it getting back to my family and having to explain myself to them.

Not long after that, I moved away to start my first real job. I have not been back to Gunnison or any other nude beach since then. I would definitely like to go back someday (hopefully before I turn into an old man!) and I still cling to the hope of bringing a group of friends along. As of now I still have not told any of them this story. Perhaps someday I’ll be able to bring myself to do it, but we’ll see.

In conclusion, I would like to thank Sunny for her own personal courage in sharing so much of her life on her web site. I would never have even thought to try a nude beach had I not read her stories! If there are any other lurkers out there like me who are toying with the idea of going to a nude beach, but aren't sure if they want to or not, give it a try. You won't regret it! I feel sure that nude beaches would become perfectly normal in this country if people would just try it once.

There is one other thing Sunny's stories make me wonder about, though. If Sunny has been able to keep her extensive nudist activities secret from nearly everyone else she knows in everyday life, how many of the girls I am acquainted with might be "secret nudists" as well? I guess I'll have to be the one to bring it up with people if I want to find out...