Discovering the Social Aspects of Social Nudity

 

By N

 

After reading what others have said about unexpected discoveries in their first or early experiences with social nudity and then reading other things that people have written about social nudity’s possible effects on personality, I decided to write about a fairly recent new experience in nudism of mine that had some unexpected side-benefits. This particular event I attended and am writing about put me through some uneasiness at first – some of it expected, some of it not – but the important thing coming out of it was some personal growth that I hadn’t anticipated and that’s what I want to focus on and share with anyone who cares to read about it. I, like many others, think nudism is a great thing for people whether they practice it socially or “in the closet”, but I’d just like to throw out my two cents toward encouraging everyone to at least give the social aspect of it some consideration. 

 

I’m going to follow a format of answering a list of questions that I’ve seen posed to others to prompt them in writing about their first time experiences and although this is far from my first experience, I thought it would help to follow this format as a guide to keep me from wandering. 

 

 

What made you want to try social nude recreation?

 

The emphasis here is on the social aspect. I’ve been a nudist all my life, but it’s been mostly a solitary thing for me when actually practicing it. It’s only been in the last few years that I’ve been to nude beaches a few times and although on some of those occasions there were many others present, I was still there alone and kept mostly to myself. I’m not at all unfriendly; I simply lean toward the introverted side so I’m able to be comfortable with only myself as company.

 

 

What was holding you back?

 

My wife is very much anti-nudism so that eliminates almost all possibilities for socializing in this venue. A few of our friends know about my thoughts and practices on this, but they don’t participate either so for now and for the foreseeable future, I remain a solitary nudist. I’m OK with that although in the past, I was just fine being by myself because I didn’t then feel any particular draw to the social aspect of it, but now that I know what I’m missing, I’m feeling some longing for camaraderie with like-minded others that wasn’t there before. 

 

 

What finally prompted you to take action?

 

I had a free weekend coming up when the rest of the family was going to be out of town and as I thought about how I might use my time, I remembered that a nudist organization in my area held a monthly swim at a pool facility. I didn’t know when or where, so I emailed a guy that used to write the e-mail newsletter for them. I used to subscribe to it and that’s how I knew about their swims in the first place. I’d e-mailed him before and he sort of remembered me. Anyway, I was in luck. The monthly swim just happened to fall on the night I had open. I’m into trying new things so I decided to attend.

 

 

In what ways did your first experience live up to your expectations?

 

It was a very enjoyable experience in a fun place with great people. Everyone was friendly and welcoming, the facilities were nice enough, and I’m very glad I made the effort to go. All that was basically what I expected, but there were some additional things - some surprises – things I hadn’t expected; things I didn’t even know to think about before. I’ll get into the details of those within the context of the next question. 

 

 

Was there anything about it that you weren’t expecting that surprised you?

 

Yes, there were a number of things about that evening that took me by surprise; unusual for me because before I do something new, I’ve usually thought it all through and done my homework if any needs to be done so that I know pretty much what will be coming at me. But this time, there were a few things I just didn’t even know to think about until I was in the midst of it all. 

 

A few days before the swim when I received the e-mail response from the person I’d contacted about it, his message told me when and where the swim would be. He also mentioned that he was going out of town the next day and wouldn’t be back for the swim and that if I needed anything else to e-mail another contact he gave me. Sometimes I tend to make things harder than they really are and I guess this was one of those times, because I then e-mailed the other contact asking if there was anything special that I needed to do since I was new; like meet somebody ahead of time. I didn’t know if they screened newcomers or anything like that, but he said just show up, pay the admission, and you’re in. That sounded easy enough.

 

I looked up what little I could find about the place where the swim was to be held. I learned it was a private commercial pool and gym where they taught swimming and gymnastics, but there was nothing about the size of the facilities or what it looked like. But no big deal - it would be interesting no matter what it was like. 

 

When the evening of the swim rolled around, I ended up leaving home a little later than I’d planned and by the time I was only part way there, I realized it was going to take longer to get there than I originally thought so I knew I was going to be late. Again, no big deal, but then as I drove along thinking more about arriving late, I started to feel some anxiety creeping in as my mind began to think up all kinds of questions:

 

• If I’m late, will I still be able to get in?
• Will there be other people there for gymnastics or something? Will they know why I’m there?
• Will there be a worker or somebody that I’ll have to explain to why I’m there?
• Do I get undressed in a locker room and then go out to the pool?
• Do men and women use the same locker room?
• Do I have to leave all my stuff in the locker room or check it in somewhere?

 

Thoughts like these until now hadn’t even crossed my mind, but now that they had, even though they were trivial in nature, they began to chip away at my confidence. This was the first surprise of the evening and it caused me to realize that I was proceeding headlong into something new and unknown and I’d better firm up my resolve to deal with it. Looking back, I realize this was a goodness because it heightened my sense of awareness. However, it did not in the least make me want to back out. No way - I was definitely still a go no matter how uncomfortable I might become or how big a fool I might make of myself. 

 

I found the place with no trouble and pulled into the parking lot about 15 minutes late. Not too bad. There were a number of cars there in the parking lot but no sign of anyone coming or going. I parked, grabbed my towel, and headed for the door. The building was smaller than I expected. It was a metal one-story building – non-descript – that looked like it could have been used for about any kind of business. The front door was propped open and there was no one in sight. First impression of the place: functional, but not particularly attractive or well-maintained. But that was fine. Then just inside I noticed some old hand-made signs taped to the wall that directed me to the pool. I could see the gym as I walked down a hallway; it was dark and deserted. Then I came to a corner and headed down another hallway that ended at an open doorway to an office. To the right of that was a counter and on the left was the door to the pool. It was not a large pool and there were people in it, but that’s all I could tell about it just then. A young lady who worked there got up from a desk in the office when she saw me, came around to the counter, and asked me if I was a member. When I said no, she told me how much the admission was for non-members. When I paid, she asked me to add my name to the list of names on a clipboard and then she headed back to the office. She was clothed and was clearly not part of the group. I signed my name and that was it.

 

When I walked through the door into the pool area and along the shallow end of the pool, it was only then that I could tell that the people in it were nude. There were probably 25 to 30 people there – all adults – all in the pool. The pool was much smaller than I expected. It was bigger than your typical backyard pool, but much smaller than what you’d expect at a gym where swimming is taught. As for a locker room, there wasn’t one. There was a wooden bench that ran the length of the far wall lengthwise to the pool and there were clothes hooks along the wall above it to hang your things on. The people that were already there had left their things closest to this end of the pool (which is where the steps were) such that I had to go about halfway or more down the length of the pool to find some open space on the bench and wall.

 

The walls consisted of unfinished wood and the plain cement pool deck seemed very narrow along the side of the pool here. Not a lot of space between the pool and the bench making me think that it may have started out as an outdoor pool and was later enclosed. The end result was that there was only about 4 or 5 feet of pool deck between the wall and the pool; everything seemed very close. 

 

Many of the folks had looked up when I entered the pool area. I acknowledged some that were there in the water closest to me as I walked by and they did the same. As I laid my towel down on the bench and started thinking about getting undressed, it suddenly occurred to me that I was going to have to do that up here on the pool deck in front of all those people who were down in the pool. As I mentioned before, I’ve been to nude beaches several times and after the first time it didn’t bother me at all to undress and be nude in front of the many who were there, but this situation felt a lot different. For one thing (as I mentioned before), this was indoors and it all felt kind of close. But the thing that gave me the most uneasiness was that everyone else was down in the pool and I was up here front and center on the pool deck by myself. No one was staring up at me or doing anything at all to cause my uneasiness – it was all purely a product of my own imagination. The fact was, these people who all seemed to know each other (or so I thought) were minding their own business as they talked and soaked in groups together in the pool. I think it was just my sudden unexpected realization that I, who didn’t know a single person here, now needed to remove every stitch of my clothing up here in front of the whole group. It was a feeling of extreme vulnerability that I was experiencing – being forced to trust this group of complete strangers. My perception of the situation at that moment was that the people in the pool had both the security of belonging to the group and the protection of being in the water. It seemed to me they were far less exposed and vulnerable than I. 

 

I’m telling you all this about what I was thinking and feeling during these first moments as well as what the others were doing to give you an idea of how far off base my thinking would later prove to be. It’s amazing how our minds can blow things way out of proportion and do it so quickly, too.  The fact that no one was actually paying any particular attention to me, the new guy, was in reality the first sign of acceptance that I was to experience that night. Looking back, I now realize that I was completely accepted the minute I walked in, but it took most of the evening for that fact to fully settle in with me. Please keep that in mind as I continue. 

 

Moving on, I knew the best way to deal with my uneasiness was to just stop thinking, get undressed quickly, and get in the water like everybody else. Fortunately, I’d planned ahead in what I wore by keeping it simple – t-shirt, swim shorts, and sandals. Off came the sandals and they went under the bench; off came the shirt and it went on a hook above the bench. I didn’t want to face everyone to take off my shorts nor did I want to moon them by turning my back on them so I turned sideways to the pool and without looking at anyone, I quickly slipped off my shorts. During the next few seconds as I stood there turning my back to the pool and folding my shorts carefully so that my keys and things wouldn’t fall out of the pockets, I was thinking how completely naked and exposed I was up here. I felt this not so much in terms of fear, but rather as the vulnerability I mentioned before. Yet at the same time, I gathered a certain confidence from remembering that I had quickly adapted to the nude beach and now I was determined to adapt to this situation as well. 

 

Next thing to do: get in the pool. I thought about just diving in right there, but I’m not a diver and there really wasn’t enough room to do that without disturbing a lot of people. I also thought about just going down the pool ladder that was close by, but that would look rather ungraceful entering the pool backwards like that. No, the best thing to do was backtrack to the shallow end and take the steps in even though that would keep me up on the pool deck just that much longer. I began walking down the pool deck knowing that each step took me ever farther from my clothes. Being in motion made me even more acutely aware that I was so completely out-in-the-open, but it was actually more exhilarating than fearful. And no one paid any particular attention to the naked new guy walking by.

 

I reached the steps and down into water I went. It was shallow at first and I proceeded carefully for a few more steps to a drop off that then put me at a medium depth. As I stepped down off the drop off, I felt the water rush up to my waist. I continued on into the pool until I was about chest deep. I was surprised at the temperature of the water. It was not the least bit cold. In fact, it was almost warm - pleasantly and relaxingly comfortable. 

 

I found myself near a group of men who were talking together so I said hello and struck up a conversation with them. We introduced ourselves, talked about the swim, and just made general small talk. They were friendly and welcoming. The groups of people tended to mix and merge and no matter who I talked to, they were all cordial and seemed glad to make my acquaintance. My earlier misconceived perceptions of me being an outsider to an established group quickly dissipated as I mingled and talked with people. At this point I was still under the impression that I was the only non-member there, but it didn’t seem to matter to anyone. Combine that with the fact that we all had in common this preference for swimming nude and I quickly began to feel a kinship with everyone. I hadn’t expected that.

 

Here’s another unexpected observation – and you’ll think I’m completely nuts for even noticing this, much less mentioning it, but I’ll risk it. I had never swam nude in a pool before. Lakes, ponds, creeks, the ocean, yes, but not the clean, clear water of a pool. Add to that the underwater lighting that seemed rather bright in contrast to the overhead lighting which was not very bright compared to that of a modern pool facility – and – well, you could see down into the water surprisingly well. It was within the first couple of minutes that I glanced down into the water and was surprised to notice that part of myself being floated and buoyed about at the whims of the water movement. It alarmed me at first making me wonder if anyone might notice and misinterpret what was going on, but just as quickly I realized that every man there was in the same situation so this must be completely normal and a non-issue.

 

I suppose I had been there about half an hour or so when someone announced there was some club business to be addressed. As a non-member, none of it applied to me, but I found it interesting to listen. It was a very laid back approach to having a meeting. No Roberts Rules of Order or anything formal. Everyone just stayed in the pool as they were and gave their attention to the person speaking. At a point later in the meeting, the leader stated his name for the benefit of anyone that didn’t know him and asked if he had exchanged e-mail with anyone about coming that night. To my surprise there was one other person besides me who raised their hand. The leader pointed first to me and asked me my name, I said it, and then he welcomed me to the swim. By this time, I didn’t feel the least bit conspicuous about being singled out – I already felt welcome and part of the group. He did the same with the other person. I never would have guessed that he was there for the first time, also. He seemed to blend in like he was already part of the group. The meeting concluded soon after that and everyone transitioned back into talking and soaking. 

 

During the meeting several people spoke up or were referred to as having specific functions within the club. When the meeting was over, I found myself near one of those folks, so I introduced myself to her. She told me her name and popped her hand up out of the water to shake hands. I don’t know why that surprised me, but it did. Anyway, we shook hands and talked for a little while about what she did in the club and things like that. She was very welcoming and enthusiastic and talked about club membership and encouraged me to think about joining. 

 

Pretty soon, a few people started batting a beach ball around and I and several others found ourselves in the midst of that activity, more by accident than by plan. But I stayed in it and had fun. There was some good camaraderie among us participants and no one seemed to mind if you missed the ball or accidentally knocked it out of the pool. So again, I felt a part of the group – not an outsider. 

 

I glanced up on the deck at one point during all this and noticed that the person who had led the meeting and who I had e-mailed the second time was almost dressed and getting ready to leave. I had intended to go meet him after the meeting to thank him for his information, so I knew it was now or never to catch him before he left. Rather than make my way through the pool to the other end where he was, I decided to just get out and walk. I hadn’t been out of the pool since I first got in and I knew that getting out at this end and walking to that end would put me in full view of everyone again, but by now I’d seen lots of others getting in and out, so I knew I needed to just get used to it. 

 

I climbed the nearby ladder out onto the pool deck and walked on past my things down to the person I wanted to meet. I again felt the vulnerability as well as the exhilaration. When I reached him we introduced ourselves and shook hands. I thanked him for his response to my e-mail and for allowing non-members like myself to attend their club event. He was very friendly and welcoming. We talked there for several minutes like that and during that time as I stood there dripping, I still felt very naked, probably all the more so due to the fact that I was talking to someone who was dressed. However, it clearly seemed to make no difference to him and so by the time we concluded our conversation, I found I was engrossed in our discussion and was no longer feeling vulnerable as we talked there with him dressed and me nude. 

 

When we finished talking and he began speaking to someone else, I started toward the steps to get back in the pool, but then I saw the beach ball get batted out onto the deck just a little ways down in the other direction. I told them I’d get it as I headed that way to retrieve the ball. After throwing it back, I just decided to get back in the pool right there, so I sat down at the edge of the pool and slipped back in. We continued to bat the beach ball around and I took my turn several more times getting out on to the deck to retrieve the ball. By the time we’d worn ourselves out volleying the ball around, I was totally unphased about getting out on the deck – even with everyone watching to see who I’d throw the ball back in to.

 

The time went fast and the swim was over before I was ready for it to be. But by the time it was over, I was completely comfortable mingling with everyone whether in or out of the pool. Just to show you how much I’d come around with my comfort level, by the time I got out of the pool at the end, most of the others were already out and pretty much dressed. I got out at the shallow end which meant I had to walk down the length of the pool again to my things. But now, unlike when I first got there, most of the people were out on the deck also, and I now had to walk past many of them to get to my things. So there I was, nude, walking past all the others who were dressed or nearly so. I even stopped to visit with several people when the person I had shaken hands with in the pool asked me how I had enjoyed the swim. It didn’t bother me in the slightest to stand there talking face to face with her and a few others even when we had to move closer together a few times to let others pass by. I was still aware of my nudity, but I was fine with it and they seemed completely oblivious to it. There was complete openness and acceptance on both sides. No pretenses. True effortless interaction.

 

Driving home afterward and then lying awake for awhile late that night, I thought a lot about the whole experience and all the good things that had happened as a result of the swim, especially the things I hadn’t anticipated. I felt like I’d come a long way in just a few hours time in learning about the social aspect of social nudity. There’s a lot more goodness to it than appears on the surface. I’m grateful for the learning opportunity. 

 

 

What advice would you give to others who are still thinking about it and wondering whether or not they should give it a try?

 

I think the need to associate with others of like mind is more important than most people realize – certainly more so than I did. I know I often find myself content to be by myself and tend to not put forth much effort toward socializing with others (although I nearly always enjoy it when I do). But after this experience, I would definitely join the club and attend the events if I can ever gently and lovingly persuade my wife over to this way of thinking. And I would encourage anyone who is a closet nudist to try being with others somewhere sometime and see if you discover the extra goodness of socializing that I did. See if you come away a little bit better person for it. It’s changed me for the better.