The rest of the morning went by fast. Callie actually spent only a few more minutes on the subject of her swimming and then quickly moved on to an assortment of other things, all in the due course of a two-year-old's perspective on the world. Callie's little book had indeed created an elephant in the room, but it kept its distance, so to speak. We went on with our gathering, talking about what all was new and the other things going on in our lives. Even when Brian and his dad went out to do some things in the garage and the yard and the three of us girls were doing things inside, the atmosphere was enjoyable and comfortable. We fixed lunch and all enjoyed that and then a while after that, we lay Callie down for her afternoon nap. It always takes a little longer for her to get to sleep when we have company, but when she finally dropped off with me patting and rubbing her back, I came back downstairs.

Brian and his parents were sitting at the table in the kitchen visiting when I came back into the room and joined them. After a bit when the conversation hit a little lull, Brian glanced at me, signaling that he was going to bring up this morning's unplanned revelation for further discussion. I returned his glance, signaling I was ready, or at least as ready as was possible. I was worried, but I trusted Brian. He's so good with people; able to explain difficult things; able to have those difficult conversations and to diffuse and resolve any resulting conflicts as much as possible. I was hopeful that those skills wouldn't be needed but grateful that we were in this together and glad that the rest of the story was about to be told and explained.

So, as the head of our little family, Brian took the lead. Calm. assured, confident, he began to speak. "Dad, Mom, about this morning. Callie's book. We'd like to talk with you about that if it's OK."

"Yes, I suppose we probably should discuss that," his dad replied, somewhat nervously. His Mom seemed uncomfortable, too.

"OK then," Brian began. "The pictures in Callie's book, those are from the campground that we've told you about. We've been going there for quite a while. You know that. What we haven't told you about it, and that you can see from Callie's swimming book, is that it's clothing-optional there. Meaning that you can be dressed or not throughout the grounds. It's a private campground - not open to the public. And most everyone opts to be undressed. (pause) Including us."

Brian's parents were giving him their full attention, listening closely, their expressions and body language showing concern. Brian was speaking in such a way that was calm and confident and showed that he was open to questions if they chose to ask any at any point. But none so far.

He continued: "So before I go any further, I want to apologize for not filling you in on this before. I have no excuse. I just didn't do it, thinking it might cause problems. And I suppose that's a problem in itself, but that's all on me. I'm very sorry for not telling you. I don't like not being completely forthcoming about how we live. Please accept my apology. (He paused; his parents simply nodded.) OK then, I'm going to go on.

"Let me explain to you why we do this.

"It's partially about comfort; partially about enjoying nature. And it's partially about accepting our bodies for what they are: a good gift from God, designed by Him and created in His image. We accept ourselves with this attitude, including all our imperfections, and believe we should not be ashamed. We accept others with the same attitude and they in turn do the same."

Brian's Mom stopped him at that point, saying, "It's one thing to be like that at home, but with others? That could be so dangerous. Especially for Callie. You just never know what might be going on in someone's head these days or what they might do. You'd never forgive yourselves if something happened."

Brian responded with, "I understand and appreciate your concerns. And the first thing I'll say to that is that we would never take any chances where our child's safety is concerned. Never. We're always watching out for Callie no matter where we are so that nothing bad will happen to her as well as not letting her wander off or get hurt in any way. You've seen that yourselves when we've all been together. It's no different no matter where we are or who we're with: church, shopping, the park, even just around here in the neighborhood. No different.

"But I'll go on to say that the people at the campground are among the nicest group of people you could ever hope to meet - anywhere. And of all the places we go, that is one of the safest places - if not the safest place - that Callie could be. Sunny and I, too, for that matter."

Brian paused a second to allow for any response to what he had just said. His mom didn't respond, but didn't seem satisfied with his answer either.

"OK, so let me go on with my explanation," Brian said. "As I was just saying, we believe that our bodies were created and designed by God and He pronounced them very good. We believe that our bodies are an important part of who we are - who we were created to be. We've been created as a body and soul unit. We believe that, in our present lives at least, both of these make up who we are. Yes, when we die our soul will be separated from our body, but we will be resurrected like Christ is and our soul will rejoin with our transformed, resurrected body. And like his resurrected body was a lot like the earthly body he inhabited from birth to crucifixion, so ours will be like that, too.

"I know that our society is traditionally clothed, but that's far from a model of perfection. Clothing can and often is used to flaunt status and power - real or false, to entice and be provocative, and to hide feelings of inferiority or shame. We believe that it's important to push back on that to some degree by living the truth; the truth that our bodies are good and not to be ashamed of."

At that Brian's mom countered, "But Brian, you don't actually have to live like that to believe those things. I agree with most of what you're saying, but you can believe that completely without having to act it out - not like (pause) that. Especially with other people - complete strangers. My word!"

"Yes, that's true," Brian said calmly and respectfully. "But for us, knowing what we know and having this belief, we need to not just say it, but we need to have times to live it out. It just seems like living in some way other than that is a lie and not actually living the truth. No, not all the time, and for sure not in an offensive way, but when and where it's acceptable and practical, then yes, it's something that we believe we need to do. And want to do. Also, we want our child to know that we believe what we're teaching her enough to live it out in that manner - to set an example; to walk the talk."

That sparked a nerve with Brian's mom. She said, "But both of you need to be so careful with Callie. She's so helpless and so trusting. She doesn't know any better, and she won't for some time. She could be so hurt by someone who doesn't really share your beliefs, but is just lurking around in a place like that just to prey on helpless children! You could never forgive yourselves if something ever happened to her because of this."

I could sense Brian tense up and knew that he was irked, even angered, at being challenged as head and leader of our family about the guidance and protection of our child, but his voice and demeanor remained calm with his parents. He replied, "Mom, Dad, I assure you that the care and well-being of my family is the most important thing to me. I'm always aware of that - no matter where we are or what we're doing or who is around. Both Sunny and I are very careful about keeping an eye on Callie at all times so that no harm comes to her. I can absolutely promise you that.

"But I can speak from experience when I tell you that the camp is one of the safest places I can think of. It's a family place. The people there are married couples - mostly older than us. Most have grown kids, but just the same, they are families. They're very friendly and have everyone's best interest in mind. The people that run the place are totally all about having a safe, family friendly environment that everyone can be safe in. There's never been any kind of trouble there. But like I said, we never let down our guard when it comes to Callie - no matter what; no matter where. Ever."

Brian paused to let that sink in. Then his dad said, "Son, we believe that. And both your mom and I have admired how you've grown into the role of husband and father and head of your own family. You and Sunny both are very loving and capable parents. We don't question that in the least. But in spite of what you're saying, you can't blame us for first of all being a little shocked but also, especially, for urging you to be careful with this."

Then Brian's mom picked it up. "I just have to ask: is this really necessary? I mean, isn't it enough if you live like this in your home? It seems like that would be more than enough. This kind of explains what we've observed over the years after you two were married. Your openness with your bodies; how you're seemingly uninhibited. I don't know where that came from exactly, but we've gotten used to it and have accepted it. Every family is different. You have your own ways and traditions. That's normal and to be expected and is a good thing - mostly, I guess. But anyway, no one is trying to change that. But going to such an extreme - especially as it concerns Callie - well, I'm just more than a little concerned."

Brian replied, "Yeah, I know. That's different than how it was growing up at home. And by the way, I'm not suggesting you should change any of those ways and traditions either. Nor am I saying anything against how you raised me. I think I had a great upbringing and that you were great parents. And still are. And now grandparents. And I'll be grateful to you forever for everything you have done and are doing - for us and for Callie.

"But yeah, when it's just us, we may or may not be dressed here at home. It's not forced or structured, nor are we OCD about it or anything. But for us it's just natural and often simplifies things. It's relaxing, no pressure, comfortable, and it really helps to de-stress and differentiate the peaceful sanctuary of our home from the crazy, busy world going on out there."

Brian glanced at me as he finished, indicating that I could pick it up if I had anything to add. I did. And so I began by addressing Brian's mom: "You said a minute ago that you didn't know where all this came from. I guess I'm the one that had the most to do with that. My upbringing wasn't exactly like this either, but my mom was comfortable and open with me regarding her body and so I was that way too for the most part with her. The thing was, she was just walking her talk. She never wanted me to be ashamed of my body or feel that I was inferior in any way just because the world around me was obsessed over the latest greatest hottest models and celebrities and how they looked and what they wore. She never wanted me comparing myself to all that and thinking that if I didn't measure up to that then I was no good. That's not an easy battle to fight and I know there were times when I had the wrong attitude about it. But my mom was solid in how she felt about that and what she wanted me to know and feel. And today I'm so grateful to her for that. And so I'm just that much more determined to guide and teach Callie not to fall into that hopeless trap of comparing herself to the impossible ideals that the world is going to push at her. And they're not really ideals. And they're not what matters. And just like it was for me, I know it will be a constant battle that I'll need to fight for her. And I'm here to tell you, I will fight. Therefore, I'm going to make sure she hears it from me - us (looking at Brian) - and sees me living it. I want her to know what real people look like. That she - along with everyone else - is normal and beautiful just as she is in all her uniqueness as designed by God and that she has so much value and dignity; to us, to God, and to everyone with the right attitude about these things."

Brian told me later that I came on really strong and bold as I said those things. It was a little out of character for me, but I am passionate about my beliefs and so it was good that it came out that way, I guess, but I think it overwhelmed Brian's parents, because they didn't respond. Probably didn't know what to say or maybe were a little intimidated. So, glancing at Brian, and seeing that he was continuing to give me the floor, I continued.

I said, "But back to how this started, because I think it's important that you know more about that. When I was still living at home, I would sometimes not get dressed after taking a shower for a while. I found being undressed comfortable and relaxing and...I don't know...I guess it just made me feel whole and healthy. It wasn't a constant thing - just once in a while. Then later on when I was on my own, I started doing that again...same reasoning behind it. Then, you know our friends Ann and Jim, right? "

They nodded.

"Well turns out, when I met them, they had this same outlook. They both grew up in families that had that tradition and so then they carried it on into their family. They often swam without swimsuits in the pool at her parents - their whole family, I mean. Anyway, they invited me to go along and so I did. They were also members at the campground - have been for a long time. And they invited me to go with them there, too, and I did. I found all of this to be a wonderful experience. A wholesome and natural way to swim and to enjoy nature and the outdoors. And like Brian already said, they and everyone I met are the friendliest most accepting people you could ever want to meet."

I was about to go on and say that later I brought Brian into it, but he jumped in and said, "So it was only natural then that with Sunny's positive experiences that she would share it with me and that it would then become part of our family tradition, too."

I was grateful that he picked it up where he did and that he explained it the way he did, because I wanted to avoid having to explain how I introduced him to it before we were married. I could just imagine his parents jumping to all the wrong conclusions with that bit of information and I didn't want that.

Then Brian's mom said, "Well...I wouldn't have thought that about Ann and Jim. They seem like..." And then she stopped, realizing that what she was about to say - that they seem so normal - would imply that we are not normal and so she began to try to amend the situation by saying, "What I mean is..."

But Brian sensed what his mom had started to say, and he jumped in to rescue her, saying, "It's OK, Mom. We know you were just trying to say that they seem like a normal, loving, caring couple who are in the midst of raising great kids, and you're right - they are - totally. Sunny and I look to them as some of our role models for our own marriage and family. And they are a perfect example of the kind of people we're saying that we've met at the campground. We're honestly not exaggerating when we say that.

"Some of our other friends that you know that that we often camp there with are Jeff and Julie."

"Oh, I see," said Brian's mom in a contemplative tone that indicated she really didn't see and was surprised to learn that there were more people who held and practiced our belief on this than she imagined. People that she otherwise had a high regard for.

Then Brian's dad asked, "And Beth?"

I wondered who would bring her up first, and when and how we would explain that. They knew that she had gone camping with us numerous times. Brian and I had discussed with her before about how we might go about telling their mom and dad and had agreed that whoever did it had the permission of the other to include them. So here it was. I knew Brian would answer.

And so Brian calmly said, "As you both know, Beth has gone camping with us a few times. She really enjoys it and looks forward to going along whenever it works out. She enjoys it for all the same reasons we do. And honestly, it's a completely safe environment - for her just like it is for all of us. She could go by herself and be perfectly fine, although she's never done that."

Brian's mom responded shaking her head, "I just can't understand how she could do that. She's always been so modest. Even going back to when she was little. So...well...I don't know. It just seems so out of character for her. But I have noticed a change in her over the last few years since she moved over here. She's more open about...or less...reserved; maybe that is the word I guess I'm looking for."

More like us, is what I was thinking she meant to say, but I took it as a positive sign even though I don't think she meant it that way.

Brian's dad said, "I'm very surprised, too. At a lot of this."

Brian said, "I know, Dad. It's a lot coming at you out of the blue like this."

Then Brian's mom asked, "What about all your other friends? And your church family? You both know so many people - you seem to make friends so easily - and I know you're very close to some of them. Do they know? I mean, how much about all this do they know?"

Brian replied, "It varies. It depends on who it is and what the circumstances are. Some of my friends, I can tell anything to and they take it in and weigh it against everything else they know about me. Others are more prone to jump to conclusions. Same with Sunny and her friends. I think."

I nodded in agreement.

Brian's mom pressed on by asking, "But what about your church ministries? And the home group that you host? Surely they'd be against it if they knew."

Brian replied, "Well, actually some do know. Not a lot, but a few. And others know some things, but not everything."

"What do you mean by that, son?" Brian's dad asked.

"I just mean that between Sunny and I we've told a few people about various aspects of how we live. I've mentioned skinny-dipping to some without really saying where we were or whether we were with others or not. Sunny has mentioned sunbathing on our back deck to a few of her friends. Just things like that. Only to a few have we told everything like we're telling you now.

"But in all these various cases regardless of whether it was church or otherwise, we haven't' had any completely hostile responses. Some are quite surprised by it, but not angry at us. Certainly not enough to end the friendship."

"Well, I don't know," Brian's mom responded. "It just seems that if you have to keep it a secret, it's something you shouldn't do."

"Mom, there's a lot of things we don't talk about to everyone, but that doesn't make it a secret," Brian responded. "The fact that we don't tell somebody something, that doesn't mean we're hiding it. It just means we haven't shared it. And we wouldn't lie about it if someone brought it up. We'd respond to them honestly and openly. We're not ashamed of it. We just don't tell people because there are so many that would initially take offense at it or jump to the wrong conclusions. And there's no reason for them to - it's not like we'd be trying to push it onto them or anything - but they would, and we aren't out to offend anyone. This is our choice - something we do for us and it has nothing to do with anyone else."

Brian's dad said, "Son, you can't blame people for being surprised or even shocked if they find out about something like this - it's so far off normal. There's bound to be fallout from it. Surely you know that."

"Dad, we do know that. But we also know what our motives are. We believe in the goodness and benefits of what we're doing. The fact that other people might take this the wrong way - and you're right, some definitely would - that doesn't change our intents and our motives. It's really an error on their part - not ours. Not as long as we're not pushing it on them or offending them in anyway. The simple fact that they know what we do shouldn't be offensive. But when someone takes offense or goes all judgmental on us when they don't even know anything about it, that's seriously wrong on their part.

"So, part of why we don't tell just everybody is not to keep it a secret, but to protect them from themselves. I don't mean that to sound arrogant or self-righteous or anything. I'm just saying that all things being equal, why not just avoid the whole problem from starting in the first place."

Brian's mom said, "It seems to me that the best way to avoid the problem in the first place is simply not to do it - at all. I mean, why even take the chance over something like this?"

Brian took his time gathering his thoughts and then began his response. "I mentioned before that we believe there is a lot of goodness in this. I'd like to go into that a little deeper now. The first thing is that since we believe this and know it to be so from experience, we can't just act as though it weren't good by avoiding it or shunning it. I mean even the simplest things like being out in nature brings us closer to nature this way. And also, the openness that this brings by dropping barriers between ourselves and others, just the physical openness brings about genuine friendship and caring for one another like we're commanded to do. No, we shouldn't have to physically remove our clothes to do this, and we don't have to, but it comes about so freely and naturally when we do - and that carries over into all our relationships with others. We're talking from experience on this.

"And the examples that we want to set for our children (I noticed that Brian used the plural here, although they didn't seem to notice that) is that they should never be ashamed of their bodies; that they should learn and always remember that their bodies were uniquely designed by God and that they never allow anyone to judge them, use them, or abuse them for how they look. If they have that solid foundation, they'll grow with a much more positive attitude about themselves. They won't wonder what's going on with their bodies at any point in their childhood or adolescence. They'll know. They'll have seen plenty of examples of it. And they'll know that it's totally normal. We adults need a good dose of this reality too. I can say that Sunny and I are far more grounded about appearances as a result of this than we used to be. For ourselves and for others. In my workplace and other places, I sometimes see people overlooked or ignored simply because of their appearance - what they look like. And that's so wrong. We all have value and dignity inherently, simply because we are human. I've seen people with great capabilities and ideas get completely ignored simply because of their appearance, their look, for not being one of the beautiful people. How wrong is that? Everybody loses when that happens. Who gets to decide who the beautiful people are? It's our society, the media, our culture. What are they basing this on? And what gives anyone else the right? Do we really want to see that continue? We don't. And we won't - at least not as far as what we can do about it. I do everything I can at work to make sure I treat everyone with dignity and respect, regardless of appearances and it's my intention to influence others to do the same. Same with our friends, acquaintances and anybody else in our encounters wherever that may be. And we intend to teach this to our children - for them to treat others this way and that they should expect that same treatment from others. And for those times they get something other than that kind of treatment from others, then they should know it's not themselves who are inferior, but that it's the others who are outside of recognizing that God created us all with dignity and worth.

"I guess in all this I'm just trying to say that we're human beings, created by God in His image, the image He wants us to have. What a privilege and honor of awesome proportions that is. We need to always value that and be grateful for it and never be ashamed. Our culture today is rampant with the misuse of clothing. It's used to hide our bodies because we don't think we measure up to our culture's set standards. It's used to try to impress others with status or wealth or other forms of superiority. Everything but basic protection and functionality. So, it's our desire to take a stand against those things and for the goodness of our bodies and our humanity. God could have made us spirit beings like the angels, but He didn't. He created this vast complex universe, apparently just to support us in our humanity. He certainly doesn't need it Himself. We want to live according to His design and desire for us. A big part of that is accepting the fact that we are human beings, with a body. Hopefully this gives you more of an understanding of what we're about, why we do this, why we're convinced it's right and good, why we share it with others and why we'll lead and teach our family in this.

"The fact is that our culture has it all wrong; associating everything having to do with our bodies with sex and sexual desire. The media uses as much nudity as they can get away with just to grab your attention for ratings or to sell you something. This is one way we push back on that. And as we do share this with others, with part of it or all of it, it's a way that we attempt to change the errors of our culture and redeem it for the glory of God."

As Brian was explaining this last part, I sensed that his parents were starting to feel really overwhelmed and that more explanations and reasons at this point wasn't going to help matters. I tried to convey that to him with a glance as he was finishing his sentence. He was coming to the same conclusion.

He said, "Well, Dad, Mom, I know that's a lot and I could go on, but I won't. I'll stop unless you have any more comments or questions."

"No, no," Brian's dad said, truly seeming a bit overwhelmed. "I don't know what it would be."

And Brian's Mom added, "No, I think we've heard as much as we can handle. That was certainly very surprising news you had for us. Completely unexpected."

Realizing that she was referring back to when they first arrived and we had mentioned we had some important news to share, I said suddenly, "Oh! No, wait! That's not it!"

As they looked at me in anticipation, Brian and I looked at each other and he indicated I should go ahead, so I blurted out, "I'm pregnant!"

* * *

Continued in Part 3

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