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Paul's Adventures - A Fiction Series

by Lutheran Nude

TWR-Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday; or Too Weird, Right?

Part 1 of 4

Pastor Linda stopped at the nurse’s station, happy to be out of the heat of the early Sunday afternoon sun. She tugged at her white collar, the dog collar, as so many pastors called it, as she picked up a clipboard to check which patients requested a pastoral call. The few that had requested a call had already been visited by other pastors doing hospital duty.

But she knew of one patient who wouldn’t be able to request a call, whether he wanted one or not. Mr. Jacobsen was still listed as ‘Guarded’; his monitors were transmitted to the repeater screens at the nurse’s station.

She talked with the nurses and technicians who were watching the monitors how everyone was doing. She also talked to on-duty residents and doctors about Mr. Jacobsen’s condition. No changes from yesterday.

She walked through the ICU ward, taking note of who was where, and getting an idea of the rotational flow. When she arrived at Mr. Jacobsen’s space, she quietly entered his curtained compartment, picked through the bag for his notebook, and found where she left off the day before.


Tuesday Morning: Meeting Some of the Locals

Although he was able to count the money that someone dropped all over his body, Paul wasn’t in any condition to do much of anything else; or say, protest, or render coherent opinions, about anything else, for the rest of the morning. He didn’t object at all when Howard led him from his tent up to the poolside showers. He did yell quite a bit when the cold water hit him, but Howard had an iron grip on his still rubbery arms, and besides, Howard needed to cool off himself, after the night he and Doris enjoyed. Doris walked up from their camper a few moments later, and, well, while ‘helped’ may be taking it a stretch, she showered alongside the men, helping Howard make Paul ‘feel’ almost human again, despite, or because of, the cold water.

Still dripping wet, they walked Paul around the pool, to a picnic table in front of Naked Laura’s grill. Laura was getting some other meals prepped, but noticed her disheveled ‘customers’ sit at one of ‘her’ tables. She picked up a full pot of coffee, started to pour it into one of several cups she had on a tray, but decided their needs looked greater then hers. She grabbed another pot, filled it with water, refilled her coffee maker, and placed the empty pot in the position to receive the finished product. She threw some creamer, sugar packets, and stirrers onto the tray with the full pot and cups, and took everything out to the table.

In a sickly sweet and sappy voice, dripping with sarcasm, and directed at Paul, Laura said, “Out a little late last night? Celebrating getting that new job? Or are we just coming in early, ready for work and a day full of fresh air, bright sunshine, and naked bodies?”

Paul lifted his head, squinting to focus on Laura, since she had the morning sun behind her head. She was just at the range of his vision where things tended to slide apart, showing two, even three, where there was only one of whatever it was he was looking at. He accepted a cup of coffee that was poured and placed in front of him. He looked back at Laura, as if to explain.

“If only I had done this to myself, would it all be very funny!”

Laura, still trying to keep it light, got a quizzical look on her face. “What do you mean? How could you not have done this to yourself? I mean, you look like you had a really good time.” She laughed out loud; her smile beaming.

Howard nodded his head. “We did; had a great time. We won everything up through the final race. But the ‘House’”, he said with air-finger quotes, “had other ideas, and splashed him right in the face with a Viagra-laced Mickey Finn when I was helping him out of the boat.”

Laura instantly became concerned, forgetting all the jokes she had lined up. “That’s terrible. Was anyone held to account for that?”

Howard shook his head. “Oh, yeah. Seems we were the unwitting bait that got the place raided. They cheated me out of some winnings and gave poor Paul here the Viagra-Mickey. I think they may have spiked mine, as well, but I didn’t even get a chance to drink anything, everything happened so fast. But I saw the head of security putting the club owner under arrest.” He shook his head again. “Wow, what a night!” he laughed, looking at Doris.

Paul, thinking the same, laughed, winced, and put his hands up to his head. “Ooooohhhhh!” was all that came out of his mouth, his eyes tightly closed.

Laura got up from her side of the table. “I have just the thing,” and disappeared back into her kitchen area. She returned with a small pocket flask, and handed it to Howard. “Here, have him drink some of this.”

Howard supported Paul’s neck and head against his chest and shoulder as he poured some of the liquid into his mouth. Paul reluctantly accepted it, swallowed as quickly as he could, and instantly regretted it.

The liquid burned its way down his esophagus, and exploded when it hit his stomach. But some of it seemed to have vaporized when it hit the back of his throat, and forced its way through his sinus cavity to his brain, where it fired every synapse, the energy threatening to push his eyes out from the inside. He tried to breathe, but couldn’t get his lungs to inhale. After what seemed like an eternity, he was able to breathe, and oxygen finally hit his brain again. Things seemed a lot less cob-webby after that. Howard handed the flask back to Laura, who promptly sweetened Paul’s coffee with some more of the concoction, before closing it up.

Doris raised her eyebrows up as Laura said “Old family recipe for hangovers, and other ‘hair of the dog’ events!” She reopened it and handed the flask to Doris, who placed it under her nose, sniffed it, then to her lips, and a small taste. It took her breath away, but she swallowed another, and, in a croaky voice pronounced it “smooth”. She closed the flask, and handed it back to Laura. ‘I’ll need to find out more about that….very effective!’ thought Doris.

“Well, let me get you all some breakfast.” Seeing Paul’s face begin to change color, she waved her finger in the air. “Now, none of that! You need to have something on your stomach, and this will be just the ticket.” Somehow, hearing that in an English accent gave it some measure of credibility to Paul.

Howard had Paul lean against his chest. He hadn’t held a man like that since he last held his own son, 40-something years ago. Doris noticed that he actually cuddled him protectively. Paul, to his credit, didn’t fight it, or even verbally object. He rested his head on Howard’s shoulder, his eyes closed.

Paul’s thoughts ran along the same lines in the quiet of the morning. ‘What am I doing? Here I am, naked as the day I was born, laying back against another naked man, a man I only met yesterday, sitting across a picnic table from one or two equally naked women, depending on where Laura was, and there is no problem. Nobody sees anything wrong with this, and frankly, I can’t think of a single reason either, right now. Why should I even try to?’

Howard and Paul stayed there through the morning. Some of the early summer-time residents came to eat breakfast or brunch, to the pool, take a shower, or use the toilets in the Pump House. They stopped by to introduce themselves, not that Paul was going to remember them all. He did take note of a few people. One woman ran by a few times, wearing only a sports bra, ear buds, and running shoes. She concentrated on her run, as if she had her course all planned. Another woman, very old, used a walker. She had a determined look, going straight to the Pump House. When she came out, she looked more contented. She trundled over, and introduced herself as Angie. Both Doris and Howard gave her a warm hug, and told Paul that she was Queen-Mayor for Life of M&M. Angie continued the joke, declaring she held court on her porcelain throne, attending to ‘personal’ affairs of state.

George came over at one point, saying “Well, this is your weekend.”

Howard laughed, and said, “He hasn’t even started to work here yet, and he’s already got two days off, and made twenty-five hundred dollars!”

As rain clouds rolled in, everyone decided to call it a day. Paul stayed there.

Tuesday Afternoon: Just Breathe, and Swim, and Eat

After lunch, Paul was still not feeling well, but he was able to function. He took several quiet swims in between the rain squalls. Martha offered to take him food shopping on Wednesday, since he only received breakfast and lunch, but not dinner, and he stated without reservation that he wasn’t going out with Howard again anytime soon. Howard chuckled, and since Laura decided to close up early, he ordered out for subs and pizza for dinner.


Pastor Linda noticed some scribbled notes in the margin at this point, and turned the notebook to the side to read them: Do I want to leave it like this, or account for every hour of every day?? Just hit the highlights. 7 January

“Well, I guess what you’ve written can’t have every detail, but I’m finding it interesting. I can see where it would get tedious if you accounted for every hour of every day,” she said, looking over at the comatose Mr. Jacobsen. She continued to read out loud, while the EEG lights danced in the green.


Wednesday Morning: Breakfast with the Queen-Mayor

Paul was feeling much better this morning, and walked up to Laura’s on his own. He went to knock on Howard’s camper door, but thought better of it. ‘What if he and Doris were, uh, busy?’ he thought. He sat down at a picnic table, looking out over the pool. He felt a light rain coming down. He put up the large umbrella that covered his table, and noticed that Angie was working her way toward the Pump House, an anxious look on her face.

He ran over. After some discussion, he scooped her off her feet, and carried her like a newly-wed bride up to the toilets. After sitting her down, he turned away, to give her some privacy, not that there was any to be had; several stalls had half walls, some had no walls at all; anyone could just look over and see and/or talk to their neighbor.

Looking up, Angie noticed him walking away, and said, “Oh, please, don’t leave me. I can’t get around without help, or my walker.”

Paul wasn’t sure if he was embarrassed for himself or for Angie. “I thought you’d want some privacy. Geez, I still don’t know all the rules about this place,” he said, sounding embarrassed and exasperated at the same time

Angie, having finished, flushed and washed her hands. “Here, take my arm, young man, and let me tell you a few things.” Paul put his right arm around her back, placing his hand on her ribs, just under her right breast. He held her left hand in his, and they walked out of the Pump House into the drizzle.

“Let me start out by thanking you for helping me. That hill just seems to get longer and steeper, even though it isn’t much of a hill at all, is it?” Paul nodded in acknowledgement. “In all my years, I have found that there are only two types of people in the world: females and males. Everything else is just packaging; skin color, eye and hair color; body shape and size, tall, short, skinny, fat, ad nauseum. Even straight or gay. The only difference between you and me, besides you being a hundred years younger, and half a foot taller than me, is this and that.” She pointed to his gonads and then to her own pubic area. “Sexual plumbing; that’s it. Oh, and milk production, here,” lifting his hand to her breast, with a slight squeeze, to emphasize the point.

She lowered his hand back under her breast, holding onto it with her hand as they walked around the pool. “Don’t be embarrassed! About anything! As a retired nurse, I can tell you we all have bodily functions, and it pretty much goes in and comes out of all of us the same way. Now, don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re still new to all this. What is it, your third day?”

He shook his head, and said, “Yes! I just never know if I’m violating some unwritten rule or code or something.”

She stopped. “Do you mind if I join you for breakfast? Get to know each other a little?” They resumed walking around the pool, to the table that Paul had just opened the umbrella. Once he had Angie settled he ran across the grass to get her walker, putting it at the end of the table.

Laura came out from her grill with Paul’s breakfast on a lidded plate. She gave Angie a loving hug from behind, took her order, and returned to her grill, walking slowly back through, and enjoying, the warm drizzle of rain.

Angie wasted no time. “So, just look into my eyes, and tell me all about yourself! Where you’re from? Schooling? How did you come to be here?”

Through forkfuls of a mushroom and onion omelet, with a side of spicy salsa, he told her about himself, his schooling at State U., and how he came to M&M FNC. Fairly, she told him about herself, being a Navy nurse in Korea; finding and losing love; her time of self loathing and self abuse; and how she found love, and love of life, again, ending up here as a semi-permanent resident at M&M. Somewhere in there, Laura brought out Angie’s breakfast.

As they ate, she also gave him the benefit of her wisdom and experience on nudity, self-acceptance, acceptance of others, proper etiquette when working around the camp, and simple things when dealing with people who wear no clothes. Her matter of fact observations gave Paul a new attitude about himself, interacting with people, nude or not, and how to appreciate others.

When they finished, he thanked her, accepting a full-body hug, not feeling the slightest bit of embarrassment, this time, and went on with his day.

After breakfast, Paul walked to the outer lot, where he got some clothes out of his car for the day, and, with some of his winnings from Monday night, went food shopping with Martha. She had a list of things to get, mostly for residents who didn’t have a means to drive off the campsite, or who just took advantage of a favor from Martha. She was happy to have Paul’s company, and he hers. He commented on some of what Angie said, and Martha gave him her opinion of it. Both women seemed to be of the same mind.

After food shopping, where Paul purchased fresh fruit and vegetables, fixings for salads, and some beef, chicken and fish, he asked Martha to stop at the hardware store where Howard had a Customer plan. In addition to looking over brick styles and sand, he bought a large cooler, a cast iron skillet and pans, oven mitts, and grilling utensils.

He also picked up a small book case for some of his things and his text books, in order to keep up on his studies. When they got back to M&M, Martha rearranged some of the power cords so that he could plug in his laptop and cell phone in the Admin Office. Then he moved some of his stuff from his car to his tent. Before lunch, he made plans and notes on how to better purchase, store, and dispense the deliverables around camp. During lunch at Laura’s, he met up with Howard, and after lunch they directed several delivery trucks that dropped off the weekend consumables: 200 20-lb bags of charcoal, 200 bags of ice, and food and supplies for Laura’s stand.

Continued in Part 2

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