I think I can speak for most parents in saying that being a parent has been both the most rewarding and sometimes the most vexing thing I have ever undertaken. Having kids in the house can certainly complicate things, especially in the current state of American society. We seem intent on confusing the hell out of our children about the realities of life, and at the same time expect them to excel in their own lives. We are giving them especially confusing messages about the human body and sexuality and we start doing it from the time they are old enough to be aware of their surroundings. When they are babies and toddlers, we bathe them and allow them to run around nude at times, even outdoors. We may even let them play in their little wading pools nude rather than keeping them in a diaper or swimsuit simply because it is so much easier than changing their clothes before and after letting them play in the water. They get a little older, and we share a bath with them, again because it is easier, and we and they enjoy those times because they have no inhibitions about their bodies and only a mild curiosity about ours. But at some point we as parents decide that nudity within the family must stop; moreover we begin to instill shame in our kids about their own body or seeing ours whether by accident or design. We do it by locking them out of the bathroom while we bathe and also by introducing rules for parental privacy, and going to greater lengths to prevent them from seeing us nude, followed by working on not allowing them to see each other nude.

When my kids were small, we were unconcerned with nudity within the family. My son spent his first five years wearing only underwear when he was at home, and my daughter did the same until she was about four, and then started wearing a night shirt in addition to her panties from about five years old forward, but she had no qualms with stripping them off and running about the house nude on occasion. I myself had already been in the habit of going nude in the mornings before going out to start my day for many years, and saw no reason to change since the kids didn’t really pay any attention to it. My wife and I both sleep nude and have since we married, and she would sometimes remain nude for a time after waking up. We also bathed with the bathroom door open, so as to be able to listen for what the kids were doing and also to allow them access to the bathroom. Every parent quickly learns that their little ones will need in there for some reason, usually just after you get wet if you make the mistake of closing the door. But in any event, full or partial nudity was simply not an issue at our house during that time. Then one day during one of her frequent visits while I was at work, my mother-in-law commented to my wife that it was about time that my son start wearing more clothes, and that it was inappropriate that he “run around half naked” all the time. After that my wife began making the kids get dressed as soon as she got out of bed, and began to admonish me for remaining nude when I was around the kids. She even went so far as to declare that she would not allow me to raise the kids to be nudists, without any further explanation for her reasoning.

Since I had always got up in the morning much earlier than the rest of the family, her demand was not that much of a change for me, especially during the summer months when the kids were out of school and would sleep late in the morning. As they got into their teens, I could often not worry about getting dressed until noon on my days off. I’d just keep some shorts handy and slip them on when I’d hear them moving around in their room. When the weather was warm enough, I’d stay out on the patio so it wasn’t a big deal. During the school session, they kept a pretty regular schedule so I knew when to put something on. Sometimes they would change up a little bit and come out before I had gotten something on, so they knew I was nude until they came out. Sometimes on the weekends they would get up earlier than usual and see me on the patio, but again it was no big deal, when I saw they were up I’d put on my shorts and that would be that. As they got older, their schedules changed and they both were getting up earlier, but still pretty much stuck to a predictable schedule that allowed me to remain nude until my daughter finished her morning bath, whereupon I’d get my shorts on, get her off to school and then finish getting ready for work. My son made it easier because he would stay in bed until the very last second, go straight into the bathroom, bathe, go back into his room to finish getting dressed and then rush out to catch the bus. I’d stay on the patio or sit in the living room covered with a throw until he was out, then take a shower before my daughter got up. She would take a bath, often staying in the tub for 45 minutes, then go back to her room, get dressed and then grab something to eat before she left. After a year or so of this pattern, I had the routine down to where I was confident enough to just leave my gym shorts in the bedroom, as I could easily move about the house without clothing and stay covered with the throw in the short time we were actually in the same room. We were all comfortable with this arrangement and the kids really didn’t show any kind of objection or even any reaction at all.

Then one morning in late spring of 2011, just before school was out for summer break, there was an unexpected change up in the routine. My son, then 17 years old, was on schedule as usual and I was out on the patio. I was sitting in a chair that was situated where it was not in direct view from the sliding door that opened from the kitchen to the patio. I had gotten up earlier than usual and already showered before I woke my son up, and he had finished bathing and was in the kitchen. I was waiting for him to leave to go back in because I had forgotten to pick up the throw on my way to the patio. I knew that my 15 year old daughter had to perform in a show that morning and would not be going to school but to an auditorium instead, and I would be driving her that morning. I figured she’d sleep a little later than usual, but as luck would have it she got up earlier instead. She was in the kitchen talking to her brother about the day’s events and I could hear them clearly. I thought I’d just wait until he left, she’d go to take a bath and I’d step in to the kitchen, go down to the basement to the laundry room and get something on before she finished her bath. No problem. So when I heard the front door close, I stepped out, looked in the kitchen and there was no one there. I slid the screen door open, closed it behind me and turned around just as my daughter walked back into the kitchen. So there I was, wearing nothing but my glasses and a pair of flip flops, holding an empty coffee cup and a pack of cigarettes.

I was so rattled that all I could do was stammer “Oh, I thought you were in the bathtub.” I tried to be calm and act natural so as not to make the situation turn into a huge embarrassment for both of us, but before I could say anything else she asked “What time are we leaving? I just wanted to know how much time I have to get ready.” So I told her we had about an hour and a half before we had to be on the road, and she decided she would make some eggs for breakfast before she took a bath. I refilled my coffee and went back to the patio to ponder what had just occurred. Later, as we drove to the auditorium I explained that I was a nudist, and wanted her to know what a nudist is and that there is nothing about our bodies to be ashamed of, but before I could engage her in a real conversation about it, she cut me off by saying it was no big deal and my being nude didn’t bother her. It was clear that she wasn’t comfortable talking about nudism though, so I dropped it. She was also performing the next morning, so I hoped she would be more inclined to discuss it after having a day to mull it over. The next morning I was on the patio again, and the kids were repeating the same things as the previous morning. After my son left for school, my daughter made herself some eggs. I had left the door open with the screen closed, and she talked with me from inside the kitchen about the days events. Later as we drove I once again tried to talk about nudism, but she still wasn’t interested in talking about it so I let it go again. I wasn’t sure just where she stood concerning my being nude around the house, because there was no real reaction to gauge anything from. But then later that summer, I was sitting on the patio having coffee when she just came out and sat down. We talked for an hour or so, not really about anything in particular, just chit-chat sort of stuff. Then she just stood up and excused herself to go back in. As she left she commented that she had “better get inside before mom got up, or she would be in trouble.” I immediately responded that there was nothing wrong with being nude, and she could talk to me anytime she wanted to, regardless of what I was or was not wearing. She went on in without saying anything else.

My son has been tolerant of my being nude around the house, but has not shown any interest in a nudist lifestyle. I have also had occasion to explain to him that I am a nudist, and have always been interested in nudism. He is also uncomfortable talking about it with me, and will change the subject at the first opportunity. But neither he nor my daughter will avoid me if I am nude, and he has also come outside on the patio to talk to me when I was sunbathing. After my daughter encountered me in the kitchen, I decided not to hide my nudist inclination in my own home any longer, and over the course of the next year began to slowly acclimate my family to my preference to being nude when clothing wasn’t necessary. On the weekends I would simply remain nude until I had to go out in public, and if the wife and kids were up and about I just went ahead with my household chores nude. My wife raised some mild objection at first, but then stated that if I was comfortable being nude in their presence to go ahead. I suppose that she saw that there was no harm being done, and figured I was going to be nude regardless of her objections. So far this arrangement is working out, but has not resulted in any change in my wife’s or kids’ lack of interest in nudism. I had hoped that I would at least be able to open a dialog with them about it and perhaps even get them to go to a nudist resort with me to check it out, but there hasn’t been any open discussion of nudism yet.

Chapter 7: Meeting Other Nudists