by DipperDave

I guess I've always been a nudist at heart.  I first visited Black's Beach as a teenager.  My family would go to La Jolla Shores for the day.  Black's was about a 2 mile hike north from there.  I told my mom I was going tide pooling, and set out for the nude beach.  I'll admit my motivation for that first visit was to see naked people (OK, girls. I was probably 14 at the time), but after my curiosity was satisfied, I was drawn to join the crowd.  For some reason, I never had that nervous time worrying about taking my clothes off. Carrying my suit and shirt, I walked along the beach.  It was a wonderful place, full of life.  People were playing Volleyball and Horseshoes, artists doing body painting, surfers, and swimmers.  They were all ages; a number of older people, some couples with small children, the 20-30 something "hippie" crowd as well as a good number of students from the adjacent UC San Diego.  The only age group missing was, well, mine.  But, I enjoyed it a lot.  I only went back a handful of times as a teen.  The hike was hard to do, up and back during one family visit to the beach, plus making sure none of my younger sibs would follow. 

Fast forward a few years, I was 20, with a steady girlfriend.  I asked her what she thought about going to Black's Beach.  She said it would be nice to get an all over tan.  I said I wanted to go, and convinced her to try the beach with me.  I didn't tell her I had prior experience there.  She didn't want to brave the steep route down the cliffs, so we walked down a paved road about a half mile south, and then walked north through the city owned portion of Black's where nudity is not allowed, to the state park.  This city-owned section is the official Black's Beach, and for a while, it had been the only legal "swimsuit optional" beach in the country.  By this time, nudity had been outlawed there and the name, along with the nudity, had moved north.

We finally got to the beach, but it was a little overcast and breezy.  There were no nude people near us; they were closer to the main trail.  There was just one other couple (still clothed) around the place we set out our blanket.  We just sat there for a few minutes. I decided I would have to break the ice and I removed my clothes.  My girlfriend remarked that I was really brave, and then she helped me get sun screened.  When that was done, she decided to go ahead and join me.  She quickly stripped off and lay down. I helped her with sunscreen, and then kicked back.  Encouraged by our example, the other couple also de-clothed.  We stayed on the blanket, reading and studying.  It finally warmed up, and after a while I went walking and swimming, but she didn't want to get up off the blanket nude.  I took one walk alone, then we walked a bit together, but she insisted on both of us being dressed.  Back at the blanket later in the afternoon, we were joined by a woman our age, and a man and his toddler son.  The kid had a grand time playing in the sand. I did coax my girlfriend into the water, nude, by pointing out it was silly to get her only clothes wet.  In short, we enjoyed ourselves, but it was a little boring, just sticking to the blanket.  My girlfriend could see the point of sunbathing, but didn't understand why I wanted to walk around and socialize while nude.  After two visits, she didn't want to go any more, mostly because of the difficulty in parking and getting to the beach (I got a ticket for overstaying the limited 2 hour parking in the area the second time).  I let the subject go for another 20 years...

Zip forward again.  I'm married to that wonderful woman and have 3 beautiful children (boy mid-teens, two girls in grade school).  I put in a backyard pool, and with an eye to a little skinny-dipping, added some strategic trees between me and my one immediate neighbor.  I had said I wanted to skinny-dip, and that I was putting in the trees for that purpose, but apparently no one took me seriously.  That first night we could use the pool, I stripped off and dived in.  The rest of my family just stared at me, and said THEY were wearing suits.  Oops.  My wife brought me a suit and insisted I put it on, so I did.  I was surprised at their reaction, because we are fairly relaxed about nudity when bathing or changing and I didn't think it would be any different in this context.  My wife and I talked it out later and I discovered that she was reacting from a fear of shocking the kids, and thought they would be offended by our less than perfect physique.  I took time to explain my thoughts on the matter.  I told her that I wanted my kids used to nudity, and that it was important for them to learn that bodies aren't perfect.  I told her that I thought it would improve their comfort with their own bodies.  She was a little hesitant, and I suggested that we ask the kids if it bothered them if Dad skinny-dipped.  She agreed to that and we asked them.  They thought a bit, and said they didn't care.

I led by example and virtually never used the pool clothed.  It took about a week before the girls were asking, "Do we HAVE to wear suits?"  It worked even better than I thought it would and the whole family (except my son) will now use the pool and spa nude.  My wife originally would not go nude in the daytime, but as the trees have filled in so has her willingness to brave the daylight.  My son is firmly in the clothed camp, and will not join me even late at night when it's just the guys.  Honestly, I think he would not join me even if I was wearing a suit; it’s just that sort of an age.  Well, at least he will come out, sit on the edge, chit chat, and not act embarrassed, so I should count my blessings.

I started exercising and watching my diet.  I got my wife started in too, and now we walk the beach together early in the morning on the weekends.  We had worked up to a more challenging hike, and I suggested we hike through the state park and down to the beach going south instead of her usual northbound route.  I admit I pulled a fast one on her, and this hike ended up dumping us onto Black's at the north end.  We were about halfway down the nude part of the beach and starting to turn around before I told her where we were and asked if she minded if I walked nude for awhile.  She was nervous because there were a lot of clothed walkers, and no visible nudists, and at first she said "No!" fearing that I would offend someone, perhaps violently. I insisted that no one was there without knowing they were on a nude beach, and she finally, reluctantly, agreed.  Humorously, she had passed about 5 or 6 nude people without realizing it.  They were tucked against the cliff and we were walking by the water.

It was marvelous!  What I had not appreciated as a young man was that Black's Beach is beautiful.  It is very flat, and is at the base of sandstone cliffs that average maybe 200ft high.  The sand is white and black and the waves make patterns in the beach.  There is lots of wildlife. It is kept very clean by volunteers.  I had enjoyed the beach when it was full of people, but this time I was taken aback by the beauty, and the feeling of being naked in this natural setting.

Unfortunately, I knew my wife wasn't comfortable because she wouldn't hold my hand while I was undressed, and she finally convinced me to cover up after a short distance.  I was also hampered by not knowing the exact boundary of the nude section.

Well, I figured that I had overstepped her comfort zone, and was resigned to that being a one-time visit.  I thanked her afterward and told her how much I enjoyed it.  I also told her about the teenage visits that I had never shared with her before, and explained that going nude on the beach was spiritually uplifting for me, not an exhibitionist streak on my part.  I expressed my gratitude a couple more times that week, and suggested the route again the next weekend, expecting her to decline.  She wanted to do her usual route on Saturday, but agreed to revisit Black's on Sunday.

On Sunday, we took the same hike through the hills and walked down to Black's.  Having researched the subject, I pointed out the boundary when we crossed into the nude area.  I asked her if she would mind me walking nude, and this time, she agreed without the reservations and nervousness.  She was much more at ease.  We held hands, talked freely and ended up walking the entire 2-mile length of the beach.  I was very surprised when I reached the No Nudity sign at the other end.  We turned back, and I swam some at my wife's suggestion.  The water was perfect.  I asked if she wanted to try going nude, but she said that she had no desire to.  When we got to the end, she asked if this was where I had to get dressed, and I admitted it was.  I asked her to pause for a couple of minutes as we had reached a low part of the cliff and I was in sunshine for the first time that morning.  The sun felt very nice.  As I was facing back down the beach, I saw a couple, about our age stop, place their blanket, strip off their clothes, and race into the surf hand in hand.  It completed the moment for me.  I thanked my wife again, gave her a kiss, and told her how much I love her.  I slipped on my shorts and we walked back to the trail.  As we were putting on our shoes to finish the hike up the hill, my wife mentioned that the next time (!?!) we should bring a small backpack to hold our shoes and things and a towel to dry our feet.

I asked her later if she was comfortable with the outing, and she said since I was so relaxed and happy, she was happy with it.  We have continued those walks, me going nude whenever the temperature permits.  She still has no interest in joining in, but that's all right.  I'm very pleased that I have reached an understanding that will make it possible to enjoy naturism more freely in the future.

Update: Over the last three years, this situation has been fairly static. I use the pool nude unless we have company, and the females of the house choose swimsuits or nudity by some strange logic I'll never understand. My son is very private and never skinny-dips, but also never complains, happily. My wife and I still walk on the beach and she still has no interest in trying it nude.

My family is much, much more important to me than my desire to "convert" anyone. I consider myself extremely fortunate. I could probably pressure my wife into agreeing to try the beach with me, and MAYBE she would end up liking it, but...she heard me out and said "No, not for me". This is not some moral or ethical disagreement that must be resolved. It's just a preference of mine that she has agreed to respect, as I respect hers.

P.S.  You can learn more about Black's Beach by visiting the Black's Beach Bares website at http://blacksbeach.org.  They hold BBQ picnics almost every Sunday from June through September.  They also communicate nudist concerns to the park rangers and organize beach cleanups.

[Home] [My Friends' Writings] [Previous] [Next]